Stages of Heartache
by troypazash
Summary: Losing a child is never easy. Follow one lost mother as she goes through the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Troypay of course!
1. Prologue

**_Ok so I know that I really need to be working on Finding Our Way (and I am, I actually have 3 and a 1/2 pages complete but I'm aiming to make it longer) but I thought that I would post this too. I actually wrote this story for another ship on another site but I decided to post it here. I feel like its been so long since I've posted something here so I wanted to post something new only I haven't had much time with the end of school, exams and my upcoming Graduation this weekend. So I decided to convert this fic over to a Troypay. The whole thing is written and all the names (and a couple of situations) have been changed to fit the High School Musical (although future) universe. This is a pretty sad and angtsy fic, just to warn you in advance. _**

**_Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own anything HSM related but I do own some original characters (yay me!)._**

Prologue:

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

Despite the fact that her house was filled to capacity, Sharpay had never felt more alone. She had never spoken to so many people in her lifetime and they all asked the same questions or said the same thing. 'How are you feeling? or I'm so sorry for your loss.' And Sharpay's usual reply was 'I'm fine' and 'Thank you' and everyone was satisfied. But in reality fine was far from the truth. Who wanted to hear that Sharpay was absolutely miserable and that getting out of bed could take hours. Every room in the house reminded her of him, he who was no longer here. People would freak out if she said that her life sucked and it would never the same ever again. How do you respond to that? You can't, so instead Sharpay bottled up her feelings and played the happy hostess although she was dying inside. How ironic.

Sharpay finally found a moment to herself, who knew that hiding in her closet would be such sweet refuge? It was the most at peace she had felt in a very long time; she didn't have to be so damn phony. She could just be herself, her very sad and miserable self. She tried desperately to drown out the voices of the so called mourners downstairs. She couldn't understand how people could hold a conversation about the next football game or getting together with people they hadn't seen in ages, all the while eating catered food. She believed that they were all so incredibly selfish, they had just been to a funeral and they were talking about dinner dates. Who the hell does that? This was Sharpay's house, didn't they know that they were supposed to feel as wretched as she did. If one person, just one person, felt the same way, they would understand. They would understand that she didn't give a damn about wearing a new black designer dress that her mother bought her; she would have been more comfortable in her flannel robe. They would understand that being around a bunch of people who were trying to make her forget or take her mind off of him only made the hurt worse. If someone, if anyone felt the same way as Sharpay then they would understand how dark her life had become.

Salvation in the closet was short lived for Sharpay, he was there. Justin was there, memories of her Justin were everywhere, even in the closet. An early birthday present, a cute blue t-shirt with a funny saying was wrapped neatly in sports themed wrapping paper. He would have laughed heartily at the wrapping paper, oh she would miss that bowl full of jelly laugh. Basketball was his favorite, although he wasn't very good at it…yet. But perhaps if he was given more time, he could have excelled. There was a basket of laundry, one that she had thrown in here so her mother wouldn't see it and make a fuss. A basket of laundry that contained so much of him, she grabbed onto his favorite t-shirt; she had given it to him two years ago. It still smelled like him, the tears poured down her cheeks rapidly. God, she could still smell him. Sharpay sobbed over a simple smell, a smell that would forever haunt her. Worst of all she would never be able to hold him in her arms again and breathe in that magnificent scent.

Her tears only intensified as her thoughts continued to invade her mind. Sharpay had never cried so much in her life but every thought of her Justin brought her to tears. They were being deprived of a lifetime together, so much time that she would never have with him. It was gone, it was all gone. She missed everything about him; he was perfect in her eyes. But perhaps her favorite thing about him was his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes, so pure and innocent. She got lost in them every time, they took you in and never let you go. Those eyes would never open again and there was just something so wrong about that. The world was so much brighter through his eyes but now they were forever closed, it was just dark now. He would never admit it, but he hated the dark. The thought of Justin being alone in the dark made Sharpay angry. How could he be surrounded by something that he feared, it just wasn't right. The whole damn thing wasn't right.

"Sharpay."

Sharpay sniffled as she looked up, the blue shirt twisted upon her chest. It was like she was holding on for dear life, if she let it go, she would fall too. And if she fell, she didn't think she could ever get up again.

"Are you alright baby?" Troy questioned, he had seen her go upstairs almost a half an hour ago. He figured that she needed some space but when she didn't come back down, he began to worry.

There it was again, that same stupid question. No, Sharpay was certainly not alright and she would never be alright again. How can you be alright when you suffer the loss of a child?

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**_Like I said before, this whole thing is written. All you need to do is review (pretty, pretty please) and I'll post the next chapter in a jiffy. Thanks a bunch for reading and hopefully, reviewing!_**


	2. Denial

**_Thanks so much for those of you who are reading this! And a great big thanks to the few of you who reviewed. Not to sound ungrateful but I was a little surprised at the few number of reviewers only because I got so many hits so I hope that some of you silent readers could leave a few words...they truly are really helpful to writers. But again thanks so much for reading especially because this is kind of depressing. Here is the first official stage: Denial._**

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_1. Denial_

"Not today Taylor, I'm not really in the mood," Sharpay stood in the doorway of her very spacious house, refusing to let her best friend in.

"Are you sure? Because we haven't gone for coffee in a while," Taylor replied as she stood outside; coffee was practically a daily occurrence for the two best friends and it had been for years.

"I've just got other things to do today, maybe some other time," Sharpay went on to close the door but Taylor held it open with her hand, just barely avoiding it getting slammed in the door.

"You're not even going to invite me in?" She questioned innocently.

"Like I said, it's not really a good time."

"Well, when is it a good time? I call you like everyday and you don't answer my calls. Or if you do answer you make up some excuse and say you'll call back but you never do Sharpay."

Sharpay shrugged, lying was taking up so much of her energy, "I've been busy."

"With what? You don't do anything, you don't talk to anyone. I know that you aren't talking to Kelsi or Martha or your friends from work. You just sit at home, when was the last time you left your house?"

"I have to go, Emma's calling me," Sharpay began; she didn't want to hear it, not from Taylor, not from anyone.

"I don't hear anything," Taylor put her hands on her hips; she was trying so hard not to back down on this. She was so worried about her best friend, they all were.

"She's sick, a really bad fever. I'll talk to you later, I promise," And with that Sharpay slammed the door in her best friend's face without a second thought.

Taylor sighed and walked back to her car, once she had pulled out of the driveway she pulled out her cell phone, "No go."

"That's what I was afraid of," Troy sighed as he pulled his SUV into his own parents' driveway. "Hey listen, thanks for trying."

"You're welcome; I just wish that I would have been able to get her out of the house."

"I thought it was getting better…"

"Troy, it'll be alright, she'll come around in her own time."

"I'm not sure; I've never seen her like this."

"Trust me, she's just going through a hard time, she's grieving."

"I know."

"How are you? How are you doing? I know this is hard on you too."

"I'm alright; I'm just worried about Sharpay." He was just as upset as his wife was but he didn't have the luxury of isolating himself from everyone around him. He did have another child who at least needed one functioning parent; he had to be there for Emma.

"You're a wonderful husband, she loves you, you know."

"I know. Listen I'm picking Emma up from my parents' house so I'll talk to you later. Thanks again."

"Wait, you're picking up Emma? Sharpay said that she was sick."

"Is that what she told you?," Troy sighed, "I'm so sorry."

"Its alright, I guess she really wanted me to get out of there," Taylor forced an awkward laugh.

"At least she acknowledged the fact that she has another child even if it was one of her many, many excuses."

"Troy," Taylor began, she felt so bad for her friends but she didn't know how to make it better. And it was killing her, she was the go to friend for advice but now she couldn't do anything to help and it just made her feel so completely hopeless.

"It's alright, Tay but look, I've really got to go."

"Call us if you need anything, Chad and I are here for you."

"I know, thanks," Troy threw down his phone before running a hand through his unkempt hair; he thought for sure that if Taylor came to the house Sharpay would have gone out with her. Boy was he was wrong; Sharpay hadn't left the house since their son's funeral. He was beyond worried about her but she barely talked, even to him.

Sharpay climbed down the stairs after a little afternoon nap; she had been taking more and more of those lately. She could hear voices coming from the kitchen which was her future destination.

"Hi," Troy greeted Sharpay as he took their two year old daughter, Emma, out of her high chair.

Sharpay acknowledged them both with a nod of the head before opening up the wine cooler that stood next to their walk in pantry. She grabbed the first bottle of wine that caught her eye.

"I thought we were saving that for a special occasion."

Sharpay shrugged as she grabbed a glass from one of the cabinets.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? You haven't eaten anything today have you?"

"You know, the last time I checked was a grown woman so I really don't think that you need to make any decisions for me."

"Sharpay, I wasn't trying….I was just saying," Troy sighed; this was hopeless and was only going to end in an argument if he continued to talk. Sharpay didn't want to hear anything that he said these days or from anybody else for that matter.

"Mommy," Emma tugged on Sharpay's pajama bottoms, she wanted to show her the new doll that her grandparents gave her.

"I'm going upstairs," Sharpay not only grabbed her glass of wine but the whole bottle too.

Troy frowned as he saw the disappointed look on his toddler's little face. He bent down and picked her up, "Mommy's not feeling well princess."

"No Mommy's sad," Emma said as she wrapped her arms around Troy's neck.

"Mommy's sad?" Troy questioned as Emma nodded, his little girl was so perceptive.

"She miss my broder!"

Troy swallowed hard and felt a tear come to the surface, "Yeah she misses Justin a lot."

"Me too, I miss broder."

"I miss him too," Troy hugged Emma closer, needing to feel the warmth his child. "But we're going to be alright, we are."

"Cookie Daddy?" Emma asked as she lifted her head up and smiled.

"Yes you can have…."

"Troy!" Sharpay's shriek from upstairs stopped Troy from what he was going to say.

He grabbed one of the homemade cookies that his mom had sent when he picked up Emma. Troy promised Emma that she could have a cookie if she ate all of her lunch, which she did. "You want to watch a movie while Daddy goes to see what Mommy wants."

"Yeah I wuv da movies," Emma mumbled as she nibbled on a bite of cookie.

Troy chuckled; Emma really was his only ray of sunshine right now. He would never forgive himself if he let her down, she needed him right now. He carried her to the family room and placed her down on the couch before turning on the T.V. and simply pressing 'play.' There was always a children's movie in their DVD player. "I'll be back soon princess, be careful with that cookie." He didn't know why he said that, he didn't really care if she was messy. It was Sharpay who was the neat freak; she hated finding crumbs in the cushions. But these days there could have been a million crumbs all over the couch and Sharpay wouldn't have noticed one bit.

"Otay Daddy," Emma had already focused her eyes on the T.V.

Troy gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before running up the stairs to see what Sharpay wanted. "Pay, where are you?"

"In here," in here meant their son's room, Sharpay didn't dare utter his name.

"What's the matter?" Troy asked as he walked into the room.

"What the hell is this?" Sharpay was sitting in the middle of the room and next to her were several brown boxes. One of them was filled with stuffed animals and toys.

"I started packing up his things," sometimes it was even hard for Troy to say his name.

"How could you do that?" Sharpay was beyond furious.

"We said before that we were going to pack everything up and possibly give away some stuff."

"Well I changed my mind; I want everything to stay where it was!"

"Sharpay," Troy began, he had a feeling that this might happen. He was hoping to get everything done before she even found out, hoping to spare her from more heartache.

"No," Sharpay interrupted him. "I swear to God Troy if you touch anything else in here, I'll…" Sharpay trailed off as she closed her eyes.

"You'll what?" Troy questioned as he crossed his arms against his chest.

"Just get out," Sharpay began to take out the toys from the box.

"Fine, if you want everything to stay, we'll keep it all. I'll help you ok."

"I don't want your help," Sharpay spat.

"I did it, I'll help put them back," Troy bent down next to her and reached into the open box. He was trying his best to stay calm and be supportive of his wife but moments like these made it pretty difficult.

"Stop!" Sharpay swatted his hand away hard; it hit Sharpay's glass of wine which spilled onto of the stuffed animals that Sharpay just recently took out. "Oh my god! Look at what you've done!"

"Sharpay relax, it's just a bear honey."  
"It's not just a bear! It's his favorite stuffed animal, he's going to be so upset that it's ruined!"

"Sharpay," Troy stared at her for a moment as she wiped the bear against her pants, furiously trying to get the dark red stain out. "Sharpay," he said firmly as he grabbed the bear from her frail hands. "You need to stop this."

"Stop what? I'm just trying to make it better, he hates it when his toys get all messed up, you know that!"

"Sharpay, Justin's not going to be upset because…"

"Stop," Sharpay frowned, "just stop right now." She pulled her hands back.

"He's gone Sharpay and he's never coming back."

"Go to Hell!" Sharpay stood up and stormed out of the room.

Troy cringed when he heard their bedroom door slam. Her anger still didn't stop him from barging into the room. "I'm sorry alright Sharpay but you've got to snap out of it."

"I so don't want to talk to you right now," Sharpay sat at the bay window, staring out at their huge backyard.

"Fine you don't have to talk, just listen." Sharpay ignored him. "I know that you're hurting but you're not the only one. I'm upset too, I lost him too. But you're pushing everyone away; you're isolating yourself from all of our family and friends. I know that you go into his room at night Sharpay. I know how you feel but…."

"Feel? You know how I feel?" Sharpay spun around to face him. "You don't know a damn thing about how I feel."

"He was my son too Damnit!"

"I never said he wasn't! But you didn't carry him for nine months, you didn't feel his midnight kicks, you didn't nurse him. He came to me when he got hurt, we had morning snuggles when you were at work. I was everything to him, that's what a mother is to her child!"  
"I know that what you had with him is special."

"Have! What I have with him is special!"

"What about Emma? Didn't you do all of these things with Emma too?"

"Yeah so what."

"Well she still needs them; she's only two for Christ sake! She still needs a mother, I can't do it all. Do you know how much she wants you back in her life? You have another child and she needs you desperately! She doesn't understand what's going on."

"How can I help her if I don't even understand how the hell this could have happened? I can't believe that this is my life! You think I want to feel this way, to live like this every day? Well I don't but I don't have a choice, no matter what I do I can't feel better."

"I'm always here for you Sharpay, I want to make you feel better, that's all I want Pay."

"It's not enough," Sharpay cried. "Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and never open them again. It would just be so much easier if I never woke up."

"I can't believe that you just said that," Troy sucked in a deep breath before wiping his sad eyes.

"I'm sorry but its how I feel, deal with it alright! I do everyday when I open my eyes and he's still not here. I just want to open my eyes and have him staring right at me with his big blue eyes and that beautiful smile."

"He's always going to be with us Pay, he's not here physically but he'll always be in our hearts."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? Because that's such a load of bullshit."

"You know what? I just…I don't know what to do anymore; maybe you should see a therapist. I want to help you, I really do but I don't know how."

"You want to help me? Then give me back my son!"


	3. Anger

Ooops I totally thought that I had already posted this chapter, my bad. I will definitely post the next one either on or by the 4th. Thanks so much for reading! And again please leave a little review if you read! Thanks oodles and oodles!

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**_2. Anger_**

"Troy," Sharpay batted her husband away, she was in the middle of trying to make Emma a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"What," Troy whispered as he gently placed soft kisses along her sweet neck.

"Stop," Sharpay pushed him away once again. "Can you please give me some space? I really don't need you all over me when I'm trying to make Emma lunch."

"Sharpay," Tom sighed. "Do you even remember the last time we made love?"

"Troy," Sharpay rolled her eyes as she grabbed a fresh apple from the refrigerator.

"You act like I'm on you all the time but I'm not," Troy took a seat at the counter.

"I'm not in the mood alright, I'm not horny twenty four seven unlike some people," Sharpay began to slice the apple up for Emma's lunch.

"I just thought…," Troy began, it seemed like they had been making new strides towards one another. Sharpay was no longer in denial about Justin's death and she actually seemed to be taking care of Emma these days. Things had been looking up, but what goes up must come down.

"Well you thought wrong! God, Troy, I don't want your big hands touching me every second like I'm some animal in heat."

"Oh come on Sharpay," Troy took a deep breath before he spoke again, trying to calm his rising feelings of anger. "I hardly ever touch you and I certainly don't treat you like some sex object and you know it."

"That's right, you're perfect Troy, you do know wrong," Sharpay put Emma's plate on the table in front of the chair with her little booster seat on it. "Although I guess I'm a terrible wife for not taking care of your needs so I offer you my sincere and utmost apologies."

"Just stop alright," he really wasn't looking for a fight, he never was.

"We probably have a good ten minutes while Emma eats lunch, would you like to get busy?"

"Just forget I ever said anything alright," Troy stood up, he needed some fresh air. He was trying desperately not to fall under her negative attitude, it was so toxic lately.

"I'm just trying to help you out Troy, offering you a little lunchtime quickie!" Sharpay exclaimed. "But if I'm not good enough, feel free to find another wife who will service you all you want, imagine how lucky you'll be…morning, noon and night, possibly some quickies over the dining room table or a romp in the hot tub! Take your pick; I'm sure one look at you will have her bending over for your pleasure!"

"That's a really fucking shitty thing to say Sharpay and you know it!" Troy had finally had enough.

"Sorry I say really fucking shitty things but I'm sure a new wife probably won't," Sharpay stalked out of the kitchen.

"Damnit I don't want a new wife, I want you," Troy closed his eyes and sighed in defeat.

Sharpay bit her lip hard, she had heard what he said and for a moment she felt bad. Troy never deserved any of the hateful things that Sharpay said lately but she didn't know what to do anymore. She was just so angry all of the damn time.

"Mommy," Emma was at her feet and had her arms around her legs.

"Go eat your lunch Emma," Sharpay told her little girl. "I made you a sandwich and cut up an apple for you."

"And cawwots with the saucey stuff?"

"I forgot alright, go have Daddy get them for you," Sharpay replied quickly.

"I want you to come Mommy, eat with me," Emma smiled up at her mother.

"Not right now honey, I'm not hungry."

"Please," Emma looked up once again only this time she had her puppy dog face on.

"No Emma, I said no! I have better things to do than watch you eat your lunch alright," She peeled her daughter's tiny hands away from her legs and pushed her towards the kitchen.

"Hey princess," Troy greeted Emma in the doorway of the kitchen. "What's the matter?" He caught sight of his daughter's solemn face; tears were beginning to fall down her tiny face.

"Mommy," Emma sobbed as she found herself being picked up by her daddy. "Mommy (sniffle) don't like me no more!"

"Emma, Mommy loves you so much," Troy covered her with kisses as he cradled her close to his chest. "She's just," how do you explain this to a two year old? "She's just still sad and she's very tired. You know how you were so sad that week you left Mr. Bumbles at Nana's house. That's how Mommy feels only you got Mr. Bumbles back and… and Justin's not coming back," Troy said as he caught Sharpay's eye, she was standing on the steps listening to their conversation with tears in her eyes.

Once Sharpay caught Troy's stare, she hurried up the stairs, she couldn't' take it anymore. She didn't realize how much she was hurting her little girl. Sharpay had always thought that Emma was alright, Troy was basically taking care of Emma and she seemed just fine. She was so wrong and she felt horrible. Now she was more than angry, she didn't want her little girl to be hurting because of her. Their life was so messed up and she just couldn't take anymore; everything was really falling apart.

"Shit!" Sharpay screamed as she ran into the bedroom, the anger was boiling over. She was angry at the whole damn world. She was angry that her precious little boy could be taken away before he ever really lived. At five years old, Justin was still a baby to her and he had so much life still in him. She was angry at the doctors who couldn't save her son; they told her he had more time. She was angry at herself for not being able to keep him alive, as a mother there had to be something that she could have done. She was angry at Troy; he had it all together and wasn't going through as much hell as she was. It was like he looked down on her for missing their son and not moving on with her life. And finally, Sharpay was even angry at her son, her Justin, for leaving her and the fact that she could be angry at her precious boy just made it all worse.

Sharpay's breathing was hard and fast as she found herself hyperventilating in the master bathroom; she was gripping the sink so hard that her knuckles were turning white. Her world was spinning and she was hurting. Sharpay longed to feel anything, anything but the numbness that was slowly consuming her. It had to stop. The next few moments were an absolute blur to Sharpay as she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror; this wasn't the woman that she wanted to see. She no longer saw herself but an angry shell of who she used to be. Sharpay couldn't stand to look at herself as she swung her fist forcefully at the mirror. The glass shattered all around her and blood was everywhere. A loud shrill scream pierced the room and it took a minute for Sharpay realize that she was the one screaming.

"Ok carrots with lots of ranch," Troy placed a little bowl in front of Emma, she was still sniffling but she was no longer as upset.

"Tanks Daddy," Emma smiled up at Troy as she grabbed a baby carrot and dipped it in the ranch.

"How about some chocolate milk instead of regular milk? Or we have apple juice?" Troy thought that Emma needed a little treat; he was amazed at his little girl. She was going through just as much as the rest of them but most of the time she managed to keep a smile upon her little face. The same smile that made him fall in love with her mother, he longed to see that same smile on Sharpay, if only for a moment.

"Um appie juicy!" Emma exclaimed, she already had heaping amounts of ranch around her mouth.

"Ok, apple juice coming up in the Care Bear cup."

"Yeah Daddy!" That was Emma's favorite sippy cup because it was pink, which was hers and mommy's favorite color.

"Do you want to go to the park after your…" Troy stopped as he heard screaming, what sounded more like a wounded animal. It was Sharpay, he knew it right away. "Emma finish your lunch, I'll be right back."

"Daddy," Emma was scared, she heard that sound too and it didn't sound good, not good at all.

"Everything's alright princess, be a good girl and eat your lunch and you can have a treat later. We'll do something special," Troy said quickly, hoping that he didn't sound as panicked as he felt. Something in the pit of his stomach was telling him that this was bad. He took the stairs two at a time and ran the whole way to their bedroom. "Sharpay!" He shouted, the fear overtaking him. There was no response but he could hear her loud wailing, he thought it was coming from the bathroom. "Oh god baby," Troy walked into the bathroom, practically in slow motion, afraid of the state that his wife was in.

Sharpay looked up at his voice, she had fallen into a ball on the floor. She could barely look at him without feeling shame. Sharpay lowered her head and looked at her bleeding and aching hand, crying even harder.

"Pay," Troy was at her side in an instant. "What happened baby? Tell me what happened." Troy lifted her head up, seeing her tears brought his own to the surface.

"I love Emma," Sharpay barely managed to cry out, as her body shook with each sob.

"I know," Troy replied as he held her face gently.

"I do, I really do love her," Sharpay sobbed harder, fighting desperately to catch her breath as she spoke. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Troy closed his eyes momentarily, his Sharpay was coming back, he could just tell. "I know you love Emma and she loves you too."

"I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it," Sharpay began but Troy interrupted her.

"You're bleeding so much," Troy kissed her head in comfort.

"It hurts," Sharpay replied but there was so much more to that statement and they both knew it..

"I know," Troy understood exactly what she meant. "I need to take you to the hospital alright."

"Ok," Sharpay nodded her head slowly, she was feeling somewhat dizzy after all of the blood loss.

Troy helped her stand carefully, although Sharpay was a little weak in the knees. "Its going to be alright, I promise you Pay."

Sharpay nodded against him, Troy never broke a promise to her. Not once, and she knew that he wouldn't begin breaking promises now, especially not now. Troy wrapped a towel around Sharpay's hand and applied pressure, trying to stop the bleeding. He also helped her to their bed. Troy kissed her cheek before grabbing the phone.

"Chad, hey…I need a favor. Are you at home?...Could you guys watch Emma for a couple of hours?...Great, we'll be there in ten minutes." Troy hung up the phone. "You ok?"

Sharpay nodded and forced a smile to reassure Troy, but she was feeling rather woozy. The hospital was sounding better and better.

"We'll drop Emma off at Chad and Taylor's alright."

"K," Sharpay said simply.

"We should go, the bleeding isn't stopping," Troy reached for Sharpay's good hand and wrapped an arm around her waist so he could help her up.

"Troy," Sharpay stopped him before they began walking.

"Yeah?" Troy turned to look at his wife.

"I love you."  
Troy smiled as his heart fluttered and filled with love, he couldn't remember the last time Sharpay had said that she loved him. There were days when he was honestly beginning to wonder but he tried not to doubt her. "I love you too." He bent down and kissed her lips softly before he helped her out of their bedroom.

"No, no you don't have to come all the way to Albuquerque Ryan, I'm fine…I promise….I love you too. Now you get back to work, I'll talk to you when I get home." Sharpay hung up the phone as she laid back down on the bed. She was bored out of her mind and of course nothing good was on T.V. Sharpay missed her own bed, hospital beds were far from comfortable. She received a few stitches in her hand, now normally a person would have gone home for only receiving stitches. But Sharpay's doctor thought that perhaps she could see the psychologist on duty and surprisingly Sharpay didn't fight it.

"In the mood for some company?" Troy ducked his head into Sharpay's hospital room.

"Of course," Sharpay smiled a truly genuine smile at the sight of her husband.

"Come on princess," Troy walked into the room with a hesitant Emma holding onto his pinky finger.

"Hi Emma!" Sharpay exclaimed, she was so happy to see her little girl too. Sharpay was determined to make things right with her; she just had to.

"Say hi to Mommy," Troy picked Emma up and sat her down on the bed.

"Hi Mommy," Emma said quietly, almost afraid to look at her own mother.

"I missed you so much," Sharpay told Emma as she reached out for a hug.

"You misseded me?" Emma asked, surprised as a smile grew upon her face.

"Of course I missed you," Sharpay replied as Emma fell into her arms. "I love you baby girl," Sharpay kissed her daughter's little head as the tears fell down her cheek. As she held Emma in her arms, Sharpay realized something; she was no longer angry.


	4. Bargaining Part 1

**Here's the next chapter as promised. I'll post the second part to this stage on Sunday. If you live in the states, hope you had a great Fourth of July. I for one am stuffed from a BBQ but I also enjoyed a great fireworks show! Thanks for reading guys! I know how depressing this fic is but in the end you will be rewarded although there will be some rough times ahead. Have a good weekend everybody!**

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3. Bargaining (Part 1)

"Ok sure, I'll ask Troy," Sharpay held the phone with one hand while the other stirred a big bowl of blueberry pancake batter.

"Ask Troy what?" Troy questioned as he walked into the room with a laughing Emma thrown over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes.

"Hold on Tay," Sharpay put down her spoon and covered the phone with her other hand. "Dinner with Chad and Taylor tonight? I just wasn't sure about Emma, could we get a sitter on such last minute notice or I was thinking we could take her with us. What do you think?"

Troy's eyes widened, he was not expecting Sharpay to want to go out. Although things were a lot better in their house, in their family and in their marriage, Sharpay still wasn't as outgoing as she once was. "You want to go out to dinner?"

"Yeah," Sharpay looked at her husband strangely, what was so weird about going out to dinner. "Do you want to or not? Taylor's still on the phone."

Troy mumbled with excitement, "Uh yeah!"

"Ok," Sharpay giggled at her cute, little dorky husband as she began talking into the phone again. "Tay, dinner would be great….um, I don't know….Are you sure? We could try to find a babysitter….Ok, ok, we'll bring Emma…7? Ok….Yeah we know where that is…You too, bye." Sharpay put the phone down.

"We're bringing Emma?" Troy questioned as he popped a blueberry into his mouth.

"Yeah bring me!" Emma exclaimed.

"We are sweetheart, Emma we're all going out to dinner with Uncle Chad and Aunt Taylor," Sharpay explained to her toddler.

"Yay!" Emma squealed as Troy placed her back on the ground. "I gotta find cwothes to wear!"

"Emma bear you've got plenty of time," Troy chuckled. "Its still morning, we're going to have breakfast now."

"Fine," Emma sighed while her parents laughed, their own little drama queen, like mother like daughter.

"Here," Sharpay handed Emma a sippy cup full of milk. "We'll pick something pretty to wear to dinner after naptime."

"Otay," Emma sipped her milk while Troy lifted her up into her booster seat. Emma was still on the small side so there was no way that she could sit in a chair and actually reach the table.

"Ok, sir, you've got bacon duty," Sharpay smiled as Troy walked back over to the counter.

"I do?"

"Yes you do and do it with a smile," Sharpay patted his butt.

"Well yes I am smiling now," Troy laughed as leaned down and gave Sharpay a good morning kiss; she was already downstairs and in Saturday morning breakfast mood by the time that Troy woke up.

"Good," Sharpay kissed his soft, oh so kissable lips one more time before she began to scoop out batter onto their griddle.

Troy smiled as he watched Sharpay flipping pancakes and talking to Emma. This was what every morning should be like; it was nice having this family time. Emma was happy that her mother was back to being a full time mother and no longer so somber. And Troy felt the exact same way; their house was so much lighter and once again filled with life. The pain was still there but it was no longer the focus of their daily lives. There would never be a day when they would not think about Justin, he was their son forever. It would be a frightening day the first time that Justin was not the first thing they thought of in the morning. But for now, they were all getting along fine and it was wonderful. Troy smiled to himself as he grabbed a package of lean turkey bacon out of their refrigerator.

Their day passed by with ease, after breakfast they took Emma to the park where Sharpay got nervous as Troy gave Emma a couple of underdogs. Sharpay was always worried that Emma would fall out of her swing but Troy always reassured her. After the park, they grabbed sandwiches at their favorite deli followed by ice cream. Emma ended up with more ice cream on her shirt than in her mouth. Naptime went smoothly and while Emma was asleep, Sharpay snuggled up to Troy as they watched an afternoon movie. Once Emma was awake it took her a considerable amount of time to find the perfect dinner outfit. Sharpay finally helped her decide on a pretty pink dress with an empire waist with a nice ribbon that tied into a bow in the back.

"Hi," Sharpay had Emma on her hip as they walked into the restaurant and over to the table where their friends were sitting.

Hugs and kisses were shared before everyone sat back down; Emma of course had to sit next to her Uncle Chad. Surprisingly, he was one of her favorite people; they had a very deep bond. Troy figured it was because Emma enjoyed Chad's childlike personality. Emma was on her best behavior during dinner, not that Emma was usually bad but sometimes she had her moments. Dinner was fantastic and they actually found a meal on the menu that was child friendly, one that Emma actually enjoyed. Now they were on dessert and engaging in lively conversation, it had been forever since the four of them (plus Emma) had gone out together.

"Just one more second Emma," Sharpay told her daughter as she wiped the chocolate from her face, Emma hated having her face wiped down. Ironic, since she loved taking baths.

"Noo," Emma tried to push her mother's hand away but no such luck, Sharpay got the job done.

"I'm sorry guys, what were you saying," Sharpay turned back to Chad and Taylor who looked like they were floating on cloud nine.

"Well," Taylor hesitated and bit her lip, "I'm not sure how to say this but…"

Chad interrupted, "We're pregnant!"

"Oh my god!" Troy exclaimed. "Congratulations!" He stood up and hugged both of his friends.

Pregnant! Sharpay had to take a couple of deep breaths when she heard the word fly out of Chad's mouth. How could Taylor get pregnant knowing what she was going through? Sharpay had just lost a child and here Taylor was glowing and excited about her own impending birth. This was not news that Sharpay wanted to hear, in fact her heart was slowly breaking. She needed to get out of here; she was suddenly feeling very sick.

"Sharpay," the concerned voice of her friend brought her out of her thoughts.

"Uh what?" Sharpay looked up and saw that everyone was staring at her. "Oh congratulations!" Sharpay forced a smile after she realized how rude she was being, despite her own personal feelings on the situation. She stood up and hugged Chad and then Taylor.

"Sharpay, you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that," Taylor squeezed her harder.

"I know how long you and Chad have been trying," Sharpay tried to break free from her friend's grasp but blissful and oblivious Taylor was having none of that. And it was true; Chad and Taylor had been trying to get pregnant for almost three years. They had been doing fertility drugs for a little over a year now. It turned out that Chad had a low sperm count, go figure. Sharpay wanted very much to be happy for her friends but she just couldn't find it in her. She tried not to be selfish for now she knew how Taylor must have felt when Troy let it slip that she was pregnant with Emma. Troy had just been so excited that he told everyone right away despite the fact that their friends had just found out that their chances of conceiving natural were slim to none.

"Yeah," Taylor nodded. "This couldn't come at a better time in our lives."

"Uh huh," Sharpay tried her best not to vomit on her friend's shoulder, a better time in their lives? Please! This was one of the worst times of her life.

"Why you so happy?" Emma asked as she looked around the adults who were all still huddling together. "What's da pwegant?"

Chad laughed as he sat back down next to his goddaughter, "Pregnant means that Auntie Taylor and I are going to have a baby!"

"A baby?" Emma questioned. "You buy me baby doll?"

Troy laughed, "No sweet pea, you're going to have a new cousin."

"Oh," Emma replied. "I a good cousin!"

"You will be the best cousin," Taylor smiled as they all sat back down.

"Are you old enough to baby-sit?" Chad chuckled.

"I...I…me don't know! Mommy can I baby-sit?" Emma asked, very unsure of the answer.

"Not yet baby," Sharpay replied.

"Not yet," Emma responded. "Maybe when I dis many," Emma held out three of her little baby fingers.

"Oh ok," Chad gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I'll remember that."

"We should probably call it a night, its getting late," Sharpay remarked. "Way past Emma's bedtime and she didn't have a good N-A-P."

Troy turned to look at Sharpay; Emma had a great nap today, longer than normal. Why would Sharpay lie? It was then that Troy noticed the forced look of happiness on Sharpay's face. Troy knew Sharpay so well and he could always tell when she was unhappy. Something was obviously bothering her and it saddened him; she had been doing so well lately. What could have possibly made her upset? They were all so happy! There was a new baby on the way…a new baby. That was it, it had to be. They had such a nice time during dinner. He prayed that this wouldn't be too big of a setback, he wasn't sure if he could handle anymore.

"Oh," Taylor nodded, knowing how difficult Emma could be when she didn't have a nap. She had witnessed many a tantrum from her little goddaughter.

"I'm sorry," Sharpay apologized, for more than anyone realized. "Its been fun."

"Yeah, we'll have to do this again and real soon," Chad replied. "I've missed this; we have such a great time together."

"Definitely," Troy added as he took Emma out of the restaurant provided high chair.

"Call me tomorrow Shar," Taylor smiled at her best friend. "I've got so many questions for you!"

"Oh," Sharpay bit down on her lip. "Great."

More hugs and kisses were shared as well as goodbyes. Sharpay felt as if she could not get out of that restaurant any faster. The drive home was pretty much silent. Emma began chattering away but fell asleep after several minutes, she was very interested in the new baby, especially where it was and where it came from. All questions for Troy as Sharpay stared out the window, not even pretending to care.

"Alright sweet pea lets get your jammies on," Troy carried a now wide awake Emma inside.

"Not sweepy," Emma yawned.

"Yes you are," Troy told her, sometimes a daddy just knows.

"Nooo," Emma whined, the tears were pretty close now.

"I'll read you your favorite story," Troy rubbed her back as they made their way up the stairs.

"Mommy read me," Emma lifted her head off of Troy's shoulder and looked at Sharpay who was walking up behind them.

"Not tonight Em, Mommy's not feeling very well. I'm just as sleepy as you are, see," Sharpay yawned.

"Otay," Emma's bottom lip trembled and she let out a loud sniffle.

"I love you sweetheart," Sharpay stood on her tippy toes to give her daughter a kiss before walking down the hallway and into the master bedroom, slamming it once she was safely inside.

"Oh god, just frickin great," Troy muttered under his breath, this wasn't about to be good.

"What you say Daddy?" Emma asked.

"Nothing sweet pea, come on," Troy walked inside of Emma's bedroom. It took twenty minutes for him to get Emma down. She didn't like the jammies that he picked out, it took her forever to pick a story because she didn't want the book Troy had, and of course she wanted water (two times). But by the time Troy began to read to his little girl, she was out like a light. All of her whining and making up excuses just wore the poor little girl out.

"She's finally out but you know Emma's, she's just so persistent. It took me forever to get her down," Troy spoke as he walked into the master bedroom. "She…" Troy stopped at the sight of his wife.

Sharpay was sitting on the floor in the middle of several photo albums and scrapbooks. They were either filled with pictures of Sharpay pregnant or of their kids as babies, specifically baby Justin. "Its not fair," Sharpay cried as she looked up at Troy through the blurriness of her rapidly falling tears. "It's just not fair!"


	5. Bargaining Part 2

Thanks for all of the great reviews guys, they are greatly appreciated! Here's the next chapter as promised, its part two of the Bargaining stage, I hope you like it. As always thanks a bunch for reading and leave a little review! I'll have the fourth stage out soon too!

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**_3. Bargaining (Part 2)_**

The sun was shining and the birds were chirping, it was a picture right out of a fairytale. The sweet laughter of the children was absolutely contagious. The family of four was so blissfully happy enjoying a picnic on a warm summer's day.

"See. See-food," the little boy laughed hysterically as he clutched his shaking belly. He stuck his tongue out complete with partially digested peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Oh Justin, gross," Sharpay looked disgusted and turned away from her son. "Where did you learn that?"

"Where do you think?" Troy laughed as he stared at his wife, watching for the moment when the answer dawned on her.

"Chad," Sharpay mumbled before taking a sip of her fresh-squeezed lemonade.

"Yeah," Justin giggled. "Yesterday! He's gonna teach me how to burp my ABCs."

"I so don't think so, he is so not babysitting not anymore," Sharpay replied. "My baby is not learning how to belch the alphabet, you're supposed to be a little gentleman."

"Ewww Mommy, I'm not a baby anymore! I'm a big boy and I can burp!" Justin stood up and puffed his chest out to get his point across.

"That's right, you're a Bolton boy," Troy scooped up his son in his arms and threw him over his shoulder. "It's your god given right to burp!" He grabbed the Frisbee on the grass and ran with Justin over to the clearing.

"Daddy and Justin siwwy," Emma laughed as she crawled onto her mother's lap.

"Yes Daddy and Justin are very silly," Sharpay chuckled as she kissed her little girl's sweet smelling hair.

"Mommy burpy yucky," Emma looked up at her mother. "Wittle girls no do burpy."

"That's right, especially not my little sweet pea," Sharpay held her daughter close.

Sharpay began to braid Emma's hair as the little girl babbled on and on from bunnies to baby dolls. Sharpay listened, she loved her daughter's sweet little baby voice, but also kept an eye out on her boys. They were playing a little game of Frisbee. Every so often Justin screamed out to Sharpay and waved, happy that he could throw the Frisbee several feet. He actually did have a pretty good arm.

"I'm beat," Troy fell onto the blanket almost twenty minutes later, sweat glistening on his forehead. "He's pretty fast."

"And you're getting old, huh?" Sharpay smirked at her beloved.

"No," Troy said quickly, he knew that he was still in great shape. "Just a little tired, someone kept me up for half the night," he winked.

"Who kept you up?" Justin asked as he took a seat in between his parents, Emma was sitting contently on her mother's lap drinking from her sippy cup.

"Mommy did," Troy smirked.

"Troy," Sharpay glared at Troy, their five year old was way too young for the conversation detailing their late night activities. .

"She had a nightmare," Troy explained as he tousled his little boy's hair.

"Oh, did you make Mommy feel better?" Justin asked.

"You bet I did," Troy winked at Sharpay so Justin couldn't see.

Sharpay rolled her eyes as she threw a grape at her husband's head, direct hit.

"Yum," Troy popped the grape into his mouth after it landed on his khaki shorts.

"I want a cookie," Justin announced suddenly.

"Sure honey, let me…," Sharpay held Emma with one hand as the other searched the picnic basket. "You know what, I left them in the car."

"Let's go get them," Justin smiled and stood up quickly, he loved his mother's peanut butter cookies.

"Troy, could you?" Sharpay looked over at her husband who had spread out on the blanket.

"I'm so tired baby," Troy yawned.

"You big old baby," Sharpay rolled her eyes. "Emma," she whispered something into her little girl's ears causing the little one to smile.

"Otay Mommy," Emma climbed off of her mother so that she could stand up.

"Come on Justin," Sharpay held out her hand for her son to take. "We'll be back soon," Sharpay called over her shoulder as they began to walk.

"Alright, we'll be here," Troy waved and lowered his head on the blanket, closing his sleepy eyes.

Emma waved at Sharpay before running and jumping onto Troy's stomach, Sharpay laughed in the distance.

"Oomph, Ow," Troy groaned as he opened his eyes to see Emma squealing in delight. "You think that's funny?"

"Funny Daddy," Emma threw her head back in laughter.

"Did you tell Emma to do that?" Justin asked as he and Sharpay walked down the wooded path.

"It's a secret," Sharpay replied.

"Can I do it when I get back?"

"Of course," Sharpay replied as she gave his hand a little squeeze.

"Mommy, I've been thinking."

"Oh you have, have you?" Sharpay questioned.

"Yup about my birthday."

"Your birthday isn't for several months buddy," Sharpay reminded her son.

"I know but it's never too late to plan a party," Justin spoke quickly, reminding Sharpay of herself.

"Oh I see, so you're thinking about your birthday party already?"

"I want two birthday parties."

"Two?" Uh oh, Sharpay thought, someone was getting spoiled.

"Yeah a big one with all of my friends where I get lots of presents! I want to go to the zoo!"

Sharpay laughed, "Sweetie, remember birthdays aren't just about presents."

Justin sighed, "I know Mommy! But I'm not finished telling you about my party yet. I want lots of balloons, the kind that makes your voice sound silly when you put them on your mouth. I want to invite my whole kindergarten class."

"You don't even know your whole class yet baby, school doesn't start for a whole month." And Sharpay didn't know if she could handle 20 rambunctious five and six year olds.

"But Mommy we can't leave anyone out, they'll get sad."

Sharpay smiled, "That is true, that's very kind of you sweetie."

"Well I'm still making plans for my big party but for my second party I want it to be just us, you and Daddy. And Emma can come too. Maybe even Uncle Chad and Auntie Taylor and maybe nana and grandpa and nonnie and poppy. And I want cupcakes with lots of sprinkles with a candle," Justin kicked the dirt as he looked down at the ground. "And I guess Emma can have one too cuz she gets upset sometimes."

Sharpay stopped walking and bent down next to her son, "You're a great big brother, do you know that?" She kissed his cheek, watching amused as he wiped off her lip-gloss stain.

"I just don't want her to cry when its my birthday, she still bugs me," Justin explained, he would never admit that he actually liked his baby sister. She was fun to play with and she listened to every thing he said.

"Oh ok," Sharpay stood up once again. "I think that two parties sound good."

"Yeah?" Justin looked up at Sharpay excitedly but something else caught his eye. He let go of Sharpay and ran to the other side of the path.

"Justin," Sharpay called as the little boy bent down. "Be careful."

"Here Mommy," Justin stood up with a purple flower in his hand.

"Is that for me?" Sharpay smiled as he ran back to her and took her hand once more.

"Yeah," Justin held out the sweet smelling flower for her to take. "Daddy says that you should always give the women that you love flowers, it makes them putty in your hands," Justin shrugged. "Whatever that means."

Sharpay laughed, "That daddy's a smart man."

"I love you Mommy," Justin wrapped his arms around his mother's waist, surprising her by his hug.

"I love you too baby," Sharpay held him close, sometimes hugs were few and far between since Justin was growing up and becoming more and more 'cool.'

Justin released his mother and smiled, "I'm gonna get you more flowers," he let go of her and began running down the path.

Sharpay smiled as she walked after him. Her smile turned into a frown when she could no longer see him anymore. "Justin!" she screamed his name over and over again, he had disappeared. Her little boy was nowhere in sight. "Justin!" She screamed as loud as she could and ran through the forest preserve, there was no sign of him. "No! No! No!" He was simply gone and she was all alone.

"No!" Sharpay thrashed about under the sheets, waking up Troy in the process.

"Pay," Troy shook his wife gently, trying to wake her up. "Baby wake up."

"Justin!" Sharpay shot up in bed, her breathing was rapid and her body was drenched in sweat.

"You had the same dream didn't you?" Troy questioned as he sat up in bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her.

"Yeah," Sharpay nodded against him.

"Its not getting better is it?"

"No," Sharpay cried on his chest. "God, I would do anything to have him back. I would give up my life for his," Sharpay sobbed uncontrollably in her husband's strong arms.

Troy got Sharpay to calm down and they both lay back down in bed, soon Troy was sleeping once again. But Sharpay couldn't, every time she closed her eyes she dreamt about him. Hell every time her eyes were open, she thought about him, fantasizing about his birthday or his first day of school, anything that she could think of. Her thoughts were always bargaining with all of the what ifs…What if she had taken him to the doctor sooner? What if they had done the other treatment? What if? What if? It was almost too much to bear. She felt so guilty, Justin's death was all her fault.

"Sharpay, you're awfully quiet today," Dr. Howard, her therapist remarked the next day.

Sharpay shrugged, her therapy session was almost over and she'd barely muttered a sentence, "I don't have much to say."

"Sharpay this is the fourth time that you've been here and you still haven't talked about your son."

"What's there to say? He's dead, end of story," Sharpay replied as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Your husband is very worried about you," Dr. Howard added and Sharpay's resolve softened.

"I'm a burden on him," Sharpay swallowed hard.

"I highly doubt that's true, from what I can tell your husband loves you very much."

"He blames me for our son's death," Sharpay sniffled. "So do I."

"I thought that your son died of a rare form of leukemia."

"He did," Sharpay explained. "Troy was away playing some special all star basketball tournament in New York when Justin first got sick. He had several bloody noses, some aches and pains and a couple of fevers. I kind of brushed it off, everyone says that kids get sick when they first start school. Their immune systems aren't strong enough and kids spread so many germs. Plus I thought he was just complaining about the aches all the time it wasn't until I saw the bruises that I realized that something was wrong. The doctor said that they thought they caught it in time, but they didn't. If I had noticed earlier, he would still be here."

"Sharpay, your son's death is not your fault. Not at all. Kids get sick all of the time, if I were in your shoes I probably would have thought the same thing. Your husband does not blame you."

"Well he should," Sharpay scoffed. "I just wish, I just wish that this was all a dream. I want to wake up from this nightmare…a nightmare, ha I wish. This…this is hell on earth."

Sharpay walked out of her therapist's office several minutes later, only to find Troy sitting in the lobby reading some sports magazine.

"I'll see you next week Sharpay," Dr. Howard called out to Sharpay.

"I'm going to run to the bathroom before we leave," Sharpay told Troy, ignoring her therapist.

"I'll wait for you right here."

Sharpay nodded and walked out of the office.

"Dr. Howard," Troy stood up.

"Mr. Bolton," the older woman smiled.

"Can we talk briefly before Sharpay gets back?" Troy questioned dropping the magazine back on the table.

"Mr. Bolton, you know that I can't talk to you about your wife and what we discuss during a session, patient confidentiality," Dr. Howard explained.

"I just want to know what I can do. How can I make it better for her? I just want to help? You have no idea how helpless I feel," Troy admitted.

Dr. Howard nodded, she truly felt sorry for him. They seemed like the perfect couple, at least from the magazines she tried hard not to read. The all star basketball player and the beautiful blonde model turned fashion magazine editor. "Love her," Dr. Howard said simply. "Just love her, she needs to know that you still love her that you don't blame her for your son's death."

"Blame her? That's absolutely ridiculous…is that what she thinks?" Troy couldn't believe that Sharpay thought that he blamed her. Had he ever said anything or done anything for her to think that?

Dr. Howard nodded slightly, she had said too much but she knew how much this man was hurting. She just wanted to help. "She blames herself for your son's death too, the guilt that she's feeling is beginning to overtake her. Have you ever heard of the five stages of grief?"

Troy shook his head 'no.'

"Well I believe that Sharpay is going through the stages," Dr. Howard walked over to a corner table and grabbed a pamphlet. "I want you to look over this, its very natural for people to grieve in stages. Sometimes they might not even go through all of the stages and sometimes they go through them more than once. Mr. Bolton just look over this, I can't say anything more, not as long as Sharpay isn't a danger to herself or anyone else. If you see any changes in Sharpay, more so than usual, especially if you think she might hurt herself, please give me a call immediately."

Troy nodded, "Thanks," He took his pamphlet and stuffed it in his back pocket before he walked outside the office, greeting Sharpay just as she came out of the bathroom.

"I thought you were waiting for me in the office."

Troy shrugged, "Felt like coming out here, then we could leave faster."

"Lets go then, I want to get out of here."

On the way home, Troy talked to Sharpay about what they should have for dinner but it fell on Sharpay's deaf ears. Sharpay was looking out the window; she had spotted a little boy. He looked to be about the same age as Justin and pretty soon her thoughts overtook her. The little boy had on a Halloween costume, a fireman. Sharpay closed her eyes and thought about what Justin would be for Halloween. For a moment, her pain was eased but only for a moment for thoughts of Justin soon faded and her harsh reality sunk in.


	6. Depression Part 1

Here's the next chapter! Just a little warning, the depression stage is well of course very depressing (hehe). Thanks so much for reading! And beware, there's a major cliffy at the end of this chapter!

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**_4. Depression_**

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Troy sat on Sharpay's side of the bed as he placed his hand on the small of her pajama clad back.

"Troy," Sharpay pushed his hand away, "I already said that I don't want to come," she said angrily.

"I was just checking Pay, that's all," Troy bent down to kiss his wife but Sharpay turned her head and rested it on her pillow. Disheartened, Troy continued on "Ok well um…Hopefully we'll be back soon, I have no idea how much stuff our moms put on the list."

"I'm trying to sleep Troy, just leave me alone," Sharpay sighed, trying to block out his voice.

"Sorry," Troy stood up, disappointed as he walked out of the room. He had read up on all of the stages of grief like Dr. Howard had told him. He could clearly see that Sharpay had exhibited signs from many of the stages. Troy was afraid that she was becoming depressed now; he had a feeling that this would be the worst of the stages and he wasn't sure that he'd be able to deal with it.

"Is she coming?" Sara Evans asked expectantly as Troy walked down the stairs.

Troy shook his head solemnly, "No she's going back to sleep, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault Troy," Vance Evans came into the foyer with Emma on his back.

"I'm so glad that you guys are here, maybe you can help her, I'm about at the end of my rope," Troy sighed, he had never been so happy to have his in-laws in his home, not that he didn't like them, on the contrary, he loved them. It was just him and Sharpay really valued their own space and well everyone knew that Sara was very demanding and a control freak (which was putting it mildly). Sara and Vance were currently remodeling their home and were now staying with their daughter and son-in-law for several days as their plumbing was worked on. It was just in time too for the Thanksgiving holiday.

"We're going to try sweetie," Sara gave him a hug. "How are you Troy, really?"

"I'm alright," Troy replied.

"I know how hard this is on you too but I'm just so grateful that you're here for our baby. Shar could not have a better husband and when…when all of this is behind her, she'll realize how special that is."

"Thanks," Troy forced a smile, finding it hard to accept a compliment. "So are we ready to go? I think I need to get out of the house for a bit, Emma too, now that her cold's gone."

"Yeah," Emma giggled, "Lets go to store! I want candy!"

"Maybe I should stay and talk to her," Sara bit down on her lip, just like her daughter.

"You can't send us to the grocery store by ourselves," Vance shook his head at his wife. "You'll get angry with me if I don't have exactly what you want. You go and I'll stay."

"Are you sure?" Sara questioned.

"Go," Vance placed Emma on the ground and she immediately held out her arms for her daddy to take her. "I'll talk to Sharpay."

After Troy, Emma, and Sara left to go to the grocery store, Vance walked up the stairs into Troy and Sharpay's master bedroom. The door was closed but that didn't stop Vance from going in, nothing would ever keep him away from his daughter. The room was dark, the usually bright (the room had floor to ceiling windows) room had every curtain closed. Sharpay's back was to Vance so he walked on the other side of the bed and opened the curtains, bringing sunshine into the dark room.

"Daddy," Sharpay hissed and squinted at the sun, it was way too bright for her liking.

"There, that's better," Vance smiled as he situated himself onto the bed.

"Daddy please shut the curtains, I want to sleep," Sharpay pleaded with him as she pulled the covers up over her face.

"You've been sleeping since we got here; your mother and I have only seen you twice in the two days since we've been here!"

"I'm just tired Daddy alright," Sharpay explained.

"Talk to me baby girl," Vance pulled the covers back so he could see his daughter's face, no matter how old she got, she would still be his little girl. "There was a time when you would tell me anything and everything. Remember when you were six and you had that fight with that little girl down the block…what's her name?"

"Lydia," Sharpay sighed, not sure what this story had to do with anything.

"Right Lydia, you came back in tears but you sat on my lap and we talked for nearly an hour, even at six you were so intelligent and so very articulate. We talked and talked and in the end everything was fine."

"I'm not six anymore and it's not that easy. You can't just slap a band aid on me and make me better, I don't work like that."

"I never said that you did," Vance replied. "I know how hard this is for you, Shar but..."

Sharpay interrupted quickly, "You can't possibly know how I feel and I'm so tired of people saying that they do."

"I do know how you feel," Vance took a breath; it was time to tell her the truth. He wasn't sure if his wife would approve but Sharpay needed to hear this. "I know how you feel baby because your mother and I lost a child as well."

"What?" Sharpay felt a pang in her chest. "You lost a child? When? And how come I didn't know about it?"

"You and Ryan were a little younger than Emma; your mother was pregnant with a boy. When she had him, he was stillborn."

"Oh my god Daddy," Sharpay felt a tear roll down her cheek, despite the numbing feeling she was constantly wrapped in, she did feel sympathy for her parents. This was huge information something her parents had kept from both her and her twin brother. "I didn't know."

"I know, we never mentioned it and you lost your memory of the event, you were so young when it happened, it was probably better that you didn't remember." Vance forced a smile; it was hard talking about his own loss. It had been years since a single word was even uttered about their lost boy. "When your mother came home from the hospital, she blamed herself. She went into a deep depression, ignoring you and Ryan but mostly ignoring me. She finally got caught up in her grief so much so that she just up and left. I didn't know where she was for several days until her sister finally called. I was beside myself with worry after not hearing from her for so long, it was just pure agony. She was gone for two weeks during which time you cried and cried for her for hours no matter what I did. We were miserable without her; sometimes I would join you and your brother in your tears. I almost gave you guys to my mother; I had given up trying to be strong for you. But then your mother suddenly came home one late evening and all the walls came tumbling down. We talked all night, we cried all night, we yelled all night…but in the end we got through it together, now that's what really matters."

"Thank you for telling me Daddy really I'm sorry but it's just not the same thing. You didn't have your son here for five years; you didn't even know your son."

"That doesn't mean that I didn't have the utmost of love for him, I still do, just like I love you and your brother. A parent's love is unconditional and you of all people should know that. It still hurts to lose a child, no matter what the circumstance is. You have every right to be sad every hour of every day but you are not alone Sharpay. Don't you see? I don't want you to go through what your mother and I went through. You have Troy, who's a hell of a lot stronger than I was but Sharpay he's not a god, he's hurting too, more than you know. And Emma, that sweet baby girl of yours needs her mother. I won't let you do to her what your mother did to you. If you knew how much you were hurting back then and how much pain your mother caused everyone, you would hug Emma for days and just never let her go. You've got to stop this, if not for yourself then for Emma. I can't tell you enough how much she needs you, how much your husband needs you…how much you need each other, just let him in. You're not alone baby, you're not alone. Just think about this alright." Vance bent down and gave Sharpay's cheek a kiss, hoping that everything would slowly sink in. After letting his own secret out, he needed a little bit of time to himself.

"No Gamma," Emma said as she held Sara's hand. "I wike cupcakes!"

"Well I bet that you will like pumpkin pie, you've probably never even had it before," Sara replied as they walked into the kitchen after a very productive afternoon at the grocery store.

"You're right, she hasn't," Troy was behind them, carrying all of the grocery bags.

"What time is your mother coming over?" Sara questioned her son in law.

"Um," Troy looked to the clock on the microwave, "In about an hour."

"Oh you guys are back," Vance walked into the kitchen, with the intention of getting a glass of juice; he wasn't expecting everyone to be back from the store. It normally took his wife so much longer to shop.

"Did you talk to her?" Sara asked, she got to the point fast.

"Um yeah," Vance replied, he was unsure how his wife was going to react to the next bit of news he had for her. "I told her, I thought it was time."

"You told her what?" Sara raised her eyebrows in confusion when suddenly it dawned on her. "Oh, you told her."

"Am I missing something here?" Troy questioned as he began to put away the groceries, he felt like he was witnessing a very private moment between his in-laws.

"I think I'm going to go rest for a while," Sara placed the can of bread crumbs that she had been holding down on the counter.

"Sara," Vance looked to his wife, trying to read her.

"Just come get me when Laurie arrives," Sara said over her shoulder as she walked out of the kitchen.

"Vance, is everything alright?" Troy was genuinely concerned.

"We should talk," Vance said solemnly, Troy was bound to find out sooner or later. After Troy set Emma up with a movie, Vance relayed to Troy what he had told Sharpay. Troy was stunned and the two men embraced. They talked until Laurie arrived, it was nice for Troy to talk to someone else about his feelings, someone who had experienced the same type of feelings.

The next day was Thanksgiving and Laurie and Sara had spent the previous afternoon working on their little holiday feast. As usual Sharpay spent her evening in bed, avoiding everyone in the house. Her interest for everything besides sleeping had greatly diminished in the last couple of weeks. Sometimes she would lie in bed all day and then at night, she would have a bit of insomnia but still she saw no reason to get out of bed. Even if there was a reason, her energy was gone, she barely had enough energy to get to the bathroom and back on some days. A few days when Troy was out with Emma, Sharpay just slept on the bathroom floor, unable to make it back to bed.

"Mommy wikes cake just wike me," Emma smiled to herself as she climbed on top of a chair in the dining room, luckily no one was around, and otherwise she would have gotten in trouble. There were so many desserts to chose from, all spread out on the buffet, a child's dream. However, Emma knew exactly what she wanted, she quickly bypassed the pumpkin pie, her gamma was so wrong thinking she would like that yucky orange stuff. Pumpkins were for carving on Halloween, not for eating, everyone knew that. "Yum," Emma licked her lips as she spotted the double chocolate cake that her nana brought over yesterday; it was one of her Mommy's favorites and she had it on her birthday sometimes. Emma quickly dug in and grabbed as much cake as her little hands could carry, leaving a gaping hole in the once perfect cake. No knife, no fork, no spoon, no plate, Emma couldn't reach those things and she wasn't allowed to have knives yet anyway. Emma hopped off the chair and ran out of the dining room with a blob of cake in her hands. Up the stairs she went and down the hall to her mommy and daddy's bedroom. Surprisingly she didn't drop any of it on her little journey around the house.

"Mommy," Emma walked into the huge, spacious room. "Mommy I got cake cuz you sad! Cake makes it better!" Emma looked around and didn't see her Mommy which was odd because Sharpay was only ever in bed. "Mommy where you?" Emma walked into one of her parents' closets, no Mommy there and she wasn't under the bed either. Finally Emma decided to look in the bathroom, the lights were on and the door was slightly ajar. "Mommy, I gots da cake…Mommy! Mommy wake up! Ahhh!!" Emma screamed and dropped the bit of cake on the floor. Sharpay was in the bathtub, completely submerged under the water. Emma ran as fast her little legs could go, screaming as the tears ran down her cheeks at an enormous pace.

Troy caught Emma in his arms, just as he made it to the top of the stairs. He had just come back from buying some firewood, it was going to be a cold night. Even though the early winter Albuquerque days were pretty moderate, the nights got downright cold. It would be nice to sit around the fire like old times. When Troy and Sharpay were first married, they spent many a night in front of blazing fire, snuggling in the aftermath of making love. One of the reasons why they bought their house was because of the two big fire places, one in their living room and the other in their master bedroom. "What's wrong princess?" Troy asked as he lifted her up.

"Mommy's dead! Mommy's dead!" Emma sobbed harshly in her daddy's arms.


	7. Depression Part 2

Thanks so much for the great reviews guys! Here's the much anticipated second part and answer to your cliffhanger! Also, I made this chapter a little longer than usual. I was going to make Depression three parts but I decided that was a little much. So I made this one longer and added the last part to the Acceptance chapter (hopefully it will still make sense). Thanks so much for reading and sticking with me!

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**_4. Depression Part 2_**

"What?" Troy felt a lump form in his throat as he held his daughter; his head was spinning in all directions. Sharpay couldn't be dead, she just couldn't. Troy wouldn't be able to make it if his other half, the love of his life, left him.

"What?" Sara repeated as she and Vance swung open the guest room that they were staying in, they had heard Emma's wailing. Sara felt herself becoming sick, she just prayed her little girl wasn't dead.

"Mommy in the baf-tub! Mommy dead," Emma cried against Troy's shoulder, her tiny hands clutching his back in fear.

"Take Emma," Troy said panicked as he held out his daughter for his in-laws to take, he wasn't even aware of who took her because he was racing down the hall into his bedroom. "Sharpay!" Troy yelled at the top of his lungs as he walked into the bathroom, seeing exactly what his little girl had seen. Sharpay's eyes were closed and her hair was covering her face as she stayed submerged under the high water. He grabbed her by the shoulders and quickly pulled her out of the tub, ready to practice CPR on her if he had to.

"What?" Sharpay questioned as her eyes flew open and she took a nice deep breath.

"You're alright," it was more of a statement than a question as Troy breathed a sigh of relief. He felt his heartbeat beginning to slow down and his pulse was no longer racing. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked, the anger setting in at the reality of the situation.

"Go away," Sharpay pulled away from his hard grip. "I'm taking a bath."

"Why didn't you answer Emma when she came in here?" Troy questioned, quite angry with his wife.

Sharpay shrugged, "I didn't want to be bothered with her, like I said, I'm trying to take a bath."

"Why were you under water for so long? Are you trying to kill yourself?" There he had asked the forbidden question, afraid of what the answer might be. He didn't want to believe it himself but they could be treading in dangerous territory. Had things gotten so bad that Sharpay wanted to end her own life?

"No," Sharpay said quickly, although truthfully the thought had crossed her mind once or twice. Somehow despite how much pain she was in, she realized that she couldn't do that to her family.

"Emma thought you were dead!" Troy grabbed her once again, forcing her to look at him. He was beyond furious and she knew it. It was one thing for Sharpay to sulk around all day and act like there was no tomorrow but he would be damned if Sharpay brought Emma down too. "She thought you were fucking dead Sharpay!"

Sharpay almost cried, feeling more pain than her usual morning numbness and not just from Troy squeezing her small arms. No other two year old would think that someone was dead but Emma did and they all knew why. Emma had been bringing Justin a cup of milk (in her favorite sippy cup, proud that she was sharing) and when she went into her big brother's room; he was sleeping so very peacefully. Emma couldn't wake him up so she had to get her mommy and daddy. When they entered the room, they immediately knew that Justin was never going to wake up again, he had passed away in his sleep. "Tell her I'm sorry ok, that I fell asleep or something. I didn't mean it, ok," Sharpay blinked, hoping that she wouldn't let her tears fall in front of Troy.

Troy let go of her and just shook his head, he couldn't be around Sharpay right now. He walked out of the room without saying another word, Emma needed him right now. Sara and Vance were right outside of the bedroom. Emma was still hysterical and crying in her grandmother's arms, when she saw Troy she immediately reached for him.

"Its alright peanut," Troy took her out of Sara's arms and cradled her against him. At this moment, he needed his baby girl just as much as she needed him.

"Mommy?" Emma sniffled out on Troy's shoulder.

"Mommy's just fine," Troy reassured her by rubbing gentle circles on her back and kissing her blonde hair. "She just fell asleep in the bath tub, that's all baby." Both Vance and Sara breathed a sigh of relief. "Let's put on your pretty new dress that Aunt Taylor bought you."

"Otay," Emma wrapped her arms around Troy's neck, she was still sniffling and shaking a tiny bit but for the most part, she was alright.

"Maybe I can get you a little piece of cake," Vance smiled at his granddaughter.

"Yeah," a little smile formed on Emma's sad face.

"Be right back sweetheart," Vance gently pinched her tear stained cheeks before rushing down the stairs. Troy took Emma into her bedroom leaving Sara in the hallway. Sara sighed before she walked in to the master bedroom to see Sharpay; it was about time they talked.

"Don't you knock?" Sharpay glared at her mother as she walked out of the bathroom wearing her white silk robe.

"Well excuse me if I wanted to see how my daughter was," Sara crossed her arms.

"I'm peachy keen Mommy, thanks," Sharpay rolled her eyes. "I have to get dressed for family fun night alright."

"Don't be like that Shar," Sara's heart was breaking for her daughter, she could tell how sad and disconnected she was, it was all part of her depression. Sara, too, had been reading about grief. She herself had gone through a hell of grieving process for grandson (not too mention her son that she lost), it took her a long time to understand how someone so precious and full of life could just be taken from this earth. There were still moments when she just didn't understand and it made her so damn angry but there was nothing that could bring him back, she knew that. She knew how hard of a time Sharpay was going through but she missed her little girl. Sharpay was never a very sad person, quite the contrary; she had always been a very happy girl. Sure, she had a bit of an attitude and temper…something that Sara actually missed. She'd much rather be fighting with her daughter now than have to see her hurting like this.

"Just get out," Sharpay glared at her mother once again before she walked into her walk in closet.

"Emma was so upset," Sara began as she followed her daughter, she and Sharpay had always been so close; surely she could get through to her overly distraught daughter. "You need to talk to her; she just doesn't understand all of this."

"Well at least I didn't walk out on her for two weeks," Sharpay turned around just in time to see the hurt look on her mother's face. "I really don't need parenting advice from a woman who up and leaves her kids. Now do I have to ask you again to leave?"

"I got the message loud and clear," Sara turned around quickly and left the room so Sharpay couldn't see her tears. Sara had never felt more shame and guilt in her life than she did when she walked out on her young twins. It was one of her darkest moments and Sharpay had just thrown it in her face. It had taken a long time for Sara to forgive herself for leaving her family but with love and support from her husband, she did. A part of her wanted to be angry at Sharpay for lashing out at her but it was true, she had left her…abandoned her own children

Sharpay managed to dress herself for the first time in days, throwing on a pair of black yoga pants and a brown wrap around sweater. It was nowhere near time to eat so Sharpay got back in bed, dreading the fact that she would actually have to pretend to care about anything and everything at dinner. Dinner, which sounded just as dreadful, she didn't have an appetite anymore. Troy would bring her food all the time and she would wait until he left to flush it down the toilet. Occasionally he'd stay for a while so she was forced to eat a little bit, it took everything in her not to throw it back up.

Only Laurie, Jack, Ryan, Taylor and Chad came over for their early Thanksgiving dinner. Normally Troy and Sharpay took the kids to one of their parents' houses (they alternated every year because Sharpay liked to have Christmas at their house) but there was no way that Sharpay was going to leave the house this year. And Troy was hoping that perhaps if the house was buzzing with family and once again full of life, Sharpay may enjoy herself. It was a long shot but Troy was almost about to give up. Thanksgiving became one of Sharpay's favorite holidays after she married Troy. She would cook and bake with her mother and mother-in-law every year, no husbands allowed. Before, big holidays had always been a very catered affair in the Evans household. With the Boltons, it was different; the day was full of love and really about being thankful. She even got her parents to really enjoy themselves and Sara decided to start cooking the meal herself when it was their turn.

"Dinner's ready," Laurie and Sara announced as they walked into the living room where everyone was congregating. Emma was showing Chad and Taylor the dress she had on, Taylor had bought it for her a couple of weeks prior. Troy was talking to Ryan and to both his father and his father in law about the Giants game that would be on later. They were laughing because Emma had so graciously allowed them to watch it later but they had to play tea party first.

"Oh great, I'm starving," Taylor stood; she was definitely going to be the first one at the table. At four months pregnant, she was pretty much through with the morning sickness and was now hungry all the time.

"Go get Sharpay son," Jack patted his son on the back.

"I'll go get her," Ryan volunteered, his brother in law and friend was for once having a nice afternoon and he knew that Sharpay was not about to make it easy on him (or on anyone).

"Thanks Ryan," Troy genuinely smiled.

"No prob, I'll be back in a jiffy," Ryan headed up the stairs.

Everyone walked into the beautifully decorated dining room with Troy and Emma trailing behind.

"Daddy I wanna to sit by you and Uncle Ryan and Uncle Chad and Nana and Gamma and Auntie Taylor and …"

"Slow down peanut," Troy laughed as he picked her up and kissed her little rosy cheek. "You can't sit by everyone during dinner; you can only sit by two people." Emma pouted. "But you can talk to everybody."

"Otay," Emma sighed and furrowed her eyebrows, deep in thought. "I wanna sit by you daddy but not mommy."

Troy's heart crumbled, he had feared this would happen. The day when Sharpay would hurt Emma so much that Emma wouldn't want to be around her. Sharpay had finally managed to succeed in pushing Emma away. Troy wondered if Sharpay thought that she would lose Emma too after getting to close to her again. "Why don't you want to sit by Mommy?"

"She not nice to me no more, she get mad by me now so me sit far away so Mommy no get mad no more," Emma explained to him.

Troy looked at her, her matching blue eyes stared back and he could see sadness reflected in them, "I know that sometimes Mommy gets mad but she's not really mad at you," Troy had no idea how to explain this to her so he gave up. He was so tired of everything; it would just be easier to give up. He just couldn't make excuses for Sharpay anymore. "You don't have to sit by Mommy today."

"Twanks," Emma replied as Troy carried her into the dining room. Troy placed Emma into her booster seat, placing her in between himself and Taylor. Troy would be at the head of the table and the other head would be for Sharpay.

"She'll be down in a minute," Ryan took his seat next to Chad the empty one next to him would be for Sharpay.

True to word, Sharpay came down a moment later, still dressed in her black yoga pants and brown sweater, hardly proper Thanksgiving attire at least at her house. Just like she had dictated several years before, everyone was wearing dresses and nice slacks. She forced a smile before sitting down between Ryan and her father. A traditional Bolton/Evans Thanksgiving started off by telling the table what you were thankful for. Emma was more than delighted to start this year.

"And I'm twankful for my new dress dat I have on me. I wike cake and chocowate, twanks for tat. I twankful for da fish I want to have…." Emma carried on for a little bit longer until Nana Laurie kindly interrupted her telling her how wonderful that it all sounded but they had to let everyone else go too. Taylor and Chad were next and they were both thankful for each other and their new baby on the way. Ryan went next and then it was Sharpay's turn, but she just sat there staring at her empty plate.

"It's your turn honey," Vance nudged Sharpay in the shoulder. "Go ahead sweetheart."

Sharpay grabbed her glass of wine before finally speaking. "I don't have anything to say."

"Oh come on Shar, it's a tradition," Chad began, trying to lighten the mood. There was so much tension at the table that it could light a fire. "I know that you've got to be real thankful that you get to look at my beautiful face."

"Oh Please," Taylor chuckled as she playfully punched her husband in the shoulder, rolling her eyes as she did.

"Ok," Sharpay swallowed a large amount of wine. "I guess that there is just so much to be thankful for. Where do I begin….let me say how thankful I am that in an hour, all of this crap will be over with and I can go back to my room and sleep it off."

"Sharpay," Sara gasped at her daughter as everyone stared at Sharpay, shocked at the words coming out of her mouth.

"Oh don't worry Mom, I'm not finished yet. I'm also just so very thankful for whoever brought the wine, I guess you people are good for something," Sharpay took another long sip.

"Sharpay," Troy rolled his eyes and took a deep breath, she was becoming out of control. He couldn't believe that she was actually doing this in front of their family and best friends.

"Troy, sweetheart, you're interrupting me and you know how I don't like to be interrupted," Sharpay flashed a quick smile before completely downing her glass of wine. "Another please! Ok, now where was I? Or right…I'm just so damn thankful. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Chad, Taylor, I'm so thankful that you guys are having a baby. Way to finally get it up buddy! Although," Sharpay chuckled before continuing. "Can you guys actually take care of a kid? You don't have much experience; you'll probably drop the kid on its head a dozen times or something. It'll only be a matter of time before he ends up dead. Oops wrong parents, my bad."

"That's enough!" Troy slammed his hand down on the table causing everyone to jump. Emma was so startled from the loud bang and her mother's little outburst that she began to cry. "That's enough," Troy said a little bit calmer.

"Really darling, you should work on your manners," Sharpay glared at him. "Tsk, tsk, tsk!"

"You're done," Troy stood up and began walking to the other side of the table.

"No I'm not, I was just about to thank God for the wonderful year I'm having, it just couldn't be better!" Sharpay said just before Troy grabbed her arm and pulled her into the kitchen, slamming the door in the process. "Ow! Damnit Troy, you're hurting me," Sharpay seethed.

"I can't believe that you just did that!" Troy yelled, everyone heard him in the dining room too. It was beyond uncomfortable at the table, no one exactly knew what to do. Laurie had collected Emma in her arms, trying to stop her crying but she was only getting worse at her parents' fighting.

"I was just following tradition that's all," Sharpay yanked her arm away from him. "Isn't that what you wanted? This whole Thanksgiving bullshit was your idea not mine!" She was becoming just as loud as he was. "I wanted to stay in bed and not play pretend with all of these people. I guess my perfect wife and mother act didn't go over so well!"

"Just go back upstairs, I'm not going to let you ruin this day for Emma! She doesn't need to hear your poison."

"I forgot that you were the perfect parent! And the perfect husband! You're just so damn perfect! You just make everything better and you love it don't you? You love being the one in control, in charge of everything! It must just kill you because you can't make poor Sharpay feel better, its your first time failing at something and its just eating you alive isn't it?"

"Cut it out," Troy replied. "You're embarrassing yourself."

"No! I'm embarrassing you and you can't stand it!"

"Just stop Damnit! One of these days you're going to push everyone away! Then what! Huh?" Troy knew it was time to walk away, things weren't getting better and he didn't want to say anything that he would truly regret. He grabbed the keys off of the desk in the corner of the kitchen and walked outside, the cold fall air hitting him hard.

Sharpay flinched as the back door slammed shut. The swinging door in between the kitchen and the dining room swung open and her father walked in. She could hear Emma screaming in the near distance.

"Don't start," she glared at him before walking away. Back up the stairs she went and under the covers she quietly sank.

Vance walked back into the dining room, all eyes on him. "She went back upstairs."

"I heard Troy pull out of the garage," Laurie sighed as she rubbed Emma's back. "I…I didn't know that things were this bad."

"Neither did I," Sara admitted, she was suddenly afraid for her daughter and Troy. Could a possible separation be on the horizon? God, she hoped not. "I can't believe we didn't see this."

"I don't think we wanted too," Ryan said sympathetically, he hated seeing his sister like this…it just wasn't her. Ryan lived in New York and hadn't really been around but he'd been updated by his family and friends. However, when he arrived here for Thanksgiving, he got a rude awakening from his little sister.

"Lets not talk about this now," Jack said as he looked at his granddaughter, this was definitely not something to discuss in front of the little one. She'd already been through enough, he didn't want to make it worse. He just wanted her to finally have a nice day.

"Agreed," Vance added as he sat back down.

"We should eat before the food gets cold," Taylor suggested, not knowing what else to say.

"Spoken like a true pregnant woman," Laurie chuckled. "Lets dig in everyone; we can still have a nice meal."

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Thanks for reading guys! Of course I didn't kill off Sharpay, she's the main character and there would be no point to her grieving in stages if she didn't even make it to the last one lol. I hope to post Acceptance this weekend!


	8. Acceptance

Thanks for all the great reviews guys, especially after that very depressing chapter. Here's the fifth and final stage! I feel like its a little rushed but hopefull you'll still like it. I'll have the epilogue posted in a few days! Thanks for reading!

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**_5. Acceptance_**

Sharpay had been staring at the ceiling for a couple of hours when there was a knock on the door. She didn't answer, Sharpay never did. She figured that whoever knocked would come in anyway which they always did. Sara came right in, not bothering for a response from her practically comatose daughter.

"I brought you a plate," Sara announced as she placed the plate full of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole and cranberry sauce on the nightstand.

Sharpay turned her head up at the food and turned around; the smell was actually making her a tad bit nauseous.

"You should really eat something," Sara stated. "Its late and I know that you haven't eaten anything today. And in case you actually care, Emma cried herself to sleep so your father put her to bed. Everyone's gone home for the evening but Troy's not back yet."

Sharpay held back her tears until her mother left; it had been hours since their horrible fight. Troy had been gone for hours and she was afraid that he just might not come back. The guilt and shame were eating her alive, she sure made a damn fool of herself at dinner. How could she have said such hateful things to her family and her best friends? She had so wanted to apologize when her mother came in but she just couldn't find her voice. Another hour passed and Sharpay was beside herself, Troy never stayed out so late without calling. She was about to give in and call him herself when the door swung open. Quickly she closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. As grateful as she was for her husband to be back home, she just couldn't face him, not after everything that she put him through tonight…and the last couple of months.

Troy sighed as he sauntered into the room, of course Sharpay was sleeping. What else did he expect? She probably spent a good 16 hours a day and night sleeping her feelings away. Troy couldn't help but smile, she looked so beautiful as she slept, and that's what made everything so hard. He could still see glimpses of the Sharpay who he fell so deeply and madly in love with. Troy sat down on his side of the bed and put his head in his hands, life was so overwhelming.

Sharpay was surprised that Troy had not moved in the ten minutes since he'd taken a seat on their bed. Sharpay opened her eyes slowly, she had a feeling that he wasn't looking at her. She wanted to know what he was doing, it was very unlike Troy to just sit still in one place, he was always hustling and bustling around. A tiny pang stabbed her heart as Sharpay realized that he was crying, no wonder his head was in his hands and his shoulders were shaking softly. Sharpay felt her own tears resurface, it was now or never. Sharpay gently reached over and rubbed his back.

"Troy," she spoke softly causing him to turn around.

He wiped his eyes quickly, surprised to hear her voice, "You're awake?"

Sharpay nodded as she caught sight of his face, even in the dark she could tell how heartbroken he was. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," Troy cleared his throat after answering her.

"You don't look fine," Sharpay remarked as she slowly sat up in bed.

"Says the woman whose bathed once in five days," Troy scoffed.

"I didn't mean it like that," Sharpay responded. "I'm not trying to pick a fight with you."

"Could have fooled me," Troy turned his head away from her, he knew that he was being cruel.

"I know I deserved that one, you have every right to be furious with me. I'm so sorry for earlier. If I could take it back, I wou…"

"Well you can't," Troy closed his eyes and rubbed his head, there really was no point in being mean to her; it certainly wasn't going to help the situation. "I'm sorry too alright; I shouldn't have just walked out like that. I just couldn't be in this house anymore; I can't…I just can't stand to be around you."

Sharpay took a deep breath as her tears intensified, she had finally pushed him away, "I can't stand to be around me either."

Troy faced her once again, she was falling apart before his very eyes, "God, how did we end up like this?"

"I don't know," Sharpay sobbed. "I know that you hate me Troy but…"

"Sharpay, I don't hate you," Troy spoke softly and he meant it.

"Just don't leave! Please, I don't think that I could stand it. Literally if you left and you took Emma, I wouldn't be able to live anymore," Sharpay was shaking as she spoke in between her tears.

"I'm not leaving baby," Troy reached out for her and Sharpay immediately fell into his arms, holding on for dear life.

"But you said…you…you couldn't be here anymore."

"I didn't mean it, I just needed a break today, that's all," Troy whispered to her as he took in her sweet scent, it had been so long since he had actually held her and god did it feel good. "I don't think that I could live without you either."

"I would die Troy, I would die. I know that I'm so horrible now but if you were gone, I would be even worse."

"Don't talk like that," Troy felt another tear roll down his cheek. "I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. I love you," he only hoped that she would say it back.

"I love you too," Sharpay cried against him, she just couldn't say it enough. "I love you, I love you, I love you. I don't know what I did for you to love me too, I'm a mess but you still love me anyway."

"Of course I love you, you're my wife, you're the only one I want to love."

"You've been so understanding and I don't deserve you. I've put you through Hell but you're still here."

"Pay," Troy began.

"I just…I hurt, I hurt so much," Sharpay wrapped her arms tighter around her husband.

"I know, baby, I know," Troy rubbed her back gently; he had never felt so much relief. They were actually getting somewhere, he had prayed for this day to happen many a night. He was almost afraid that this wasn't real.

"Idon'twanttohurtanymore, god, justpleasemakeitallgoaway," Sharpay's body shook with sobs and Troy barely understood a word that she said.

"Its alright," Troy tried to reassure her, kissing her forehead gently. He was going to do whatever it took for her to get out of the major depression she had been stuck in. They couldn't go on like this and he wasn't just going to let their marriage crumble. "I swear Pay; we're going to get through this. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it."

"Just love me," Sharpay sighed as she pulled away from him slightly, she needed to see his beautiful face.

"Ok," Troy nodded affectionately. "I can do that, I've always done that. I'll love you forever."

Sharpay took a huge leap, "Show me."

"Pay?" Troy questioned, he hardly thought that was a good idea at the moment. They really had too much to work out; their lives were really at stake here.

"Please," Sharpay moved her hands to Tom's face, caressing his cheeks gently, Troy melted into her soft and delicate hand, embracing the feeling. Truth be told, it had been such a long time and he missed her touch like crazy. "I know its not a good time but I need to know how much you love me, I need you so much Troy. Just show me that you love me please…please," Sharpay begged, she hadn't realized just how much she needed his touch as well. He made her feel like a woman.

"I love you, no matter what, you need to know that," Troy said as he tucked a strand of her silky hair behind her ear. Tom's mind was against this, there was so much that they needed to talk about. Making love would not change all of their problems but he was a man after all, a man who had been deprived for such a very long time. Against his better judgment he leaned down to kiss his wife, the taste of her sweet lips seemed to bring him back to life.

Sharpay attacked his lips with fervor, not that Troy had any problems keeping up with her. They were both aggressive and hurried in their kisses, desperate for love and affection after being without it for so long. Before they knew it, clothes had been ripped off and thrown to the floor. What began as rough and hurried had now turned into something beautiful, something so sacred between a husband and wife. Each taking the time to share how much they loved the other, Troy and Sharpay spent their night making love.

Sharpay's eyes fluttered open the next morning; her face was snuggled into the comfy confines of Troy's hard chest. She smiled to herself as she felt the rise and fall of Troy's chest. Last night had been absolutely amazing, not only did they make love for hours but they talked for hours as well. And what a conversation it was, there were tons of tears as was expected but there was also laughter, something Sharpay hadn't experienced in such a long time. She had laughed so hard at one point that she found herself crying again. And when she awoke this morning, she actually felt good. For the first time in a long time, she didn't dread waking up, in fact she welcomed it. Although she was dreading seeing her family again, the guilt still lingered there but she had to apologize to everyone. Slowly but surely Sharpay was realizing that everything was going to be ok. Nothing was going to happen overnight, although Troy and Sharpay had made so much progress, they still had ways to go, especially Sharpay.

Sharpay slipped away from her husband's strong and warm embrace and as soon as she did, she missed him already. She kissed him gently and Troy moaned slightly before rolling over. Sharpay couldn't help but think how cute he was and how truly blessed she was to have him. He could have walked away, any lesser man would have split a long time ago but not her Troy, he stayed and she was eternally grateful. Sharpay literally owed her life to Troy. Sharpay slowly got out of bed, she was a little bit achy but it was such a great feeling, one that had been absent for a while. Sharpay quickly made her way over to her dresser; clothes would definitely be needed if she were going to leave her bedroom. They hadn't bothered to dress after their long lovemaking session; instead they talked as they held each other, more than comfortable with one another after all these years together. Surprisingly Sharpay only had a measly three and a half hours of sleep but it was the best she felt in a long time. After throwing on a fresh pair of underwear and pajamas, Sharpay made her way down the hall.

Her first order of business was to check in on Emma, her beautiful little girl was sound asleep in her new big girl bed. Sharpay couldn't believe that this was the first time she had seen Emma's new bed, she really had been truly absent from her own daughter's life. She vowed to never let it happen again. The house was silent as she made her way through it, her parents must have still been asleep. It was still early after all, she didn't really expect anyone to be awake. Although, one thing that she still knew was that Emma was an early riser which meant that she would be up any minute. She made her way downstairs and into the spacious kitchen where surprisingly no remnants of Thanksgiving remained. Her mother was a manic cleaner and the kitchen looked perfect. Sharpay opened the refrigerator and was greeted with a variety of leftovers. After searching for a minute or two, Sharpay finally found what she was looking for.

After several minutes in the kitchen, Sharpay hurried back upstairs and into her daughter's room. She took a small seat on the edge of the bed, Emma was completely sprawled out and there wasn't much room. "Emma," Sharpay called her name softly and gently shook her shoulders.

Emma opened her eyes immediately; she had been close to waking up anyway. With a yawn, Emma rolled over and was surprised to see that she had a visitor. "Mommy?" Emma questioned as she rubbed the sleep away from her eyes.

"Hi baby," Sharpay smiled at Emma, she was an adorable sight with a little bed head and her favorite princess pajamas. "Did you have a good sleep?" Sharpay asked as she brought a hand to Emma's head.

Emma flinched at first but relaxed as her mommy ran a finger through her hair and rubbed her head gently; she had always liked that feeling. "Yeah. What dat for?"

"Oh this?" Sharpay beamed as she handed Emma the plate of double chocolate cake. "This is your breakfast!"

"Cake for breakfast?" Emma's eyes and smile were as bright as the sun.

"Yup cake for breakfast," Emma repeated. "I thought that you deserved a little cake, I thought it might make you feel better."

"Cuz I was sad like you?"

"Yeah baby and I don't like it when you're sad," Sharpay said to her daughter.

"Mommy I no like when you sad too," Emma replied.

"I know baby, Mommy doesn't like to be sad either. I would much rather eat cake with you or play with you and…"

"And Daddy too," Emma added thoughtfully.

"Daddy too," Sharpay smiled. "I'm sorry for being so sad all the time but you know what, we're not going to be sad all the time anymore. We are going to be happy! No more crying in this house alright?"

"But what if me falled down and I hurted myself?"

"Well that's ok," Sharpay held in her laughter. "It's alright to be sad sometimes, especially if you fall down, it's ok to cry. But we don't want to cry and be sad all the time. It was no fun when I was sad in my room was it?"

"No Mommy, me misseded you," Emma explained.

"And I missed you too," Sharpay felt a tear roll down her cheek. "I missed you so much."

"Mommy can me eats cake now?" Emma questioned.

"Do you think…that maybe I can have a hug first?" Sharpay asked her daughter, the hope in her heart was full.

"Yeah Mommy!" Emma exclaimed, remembering to place the plate on the bed so she could hug her Mommy. Emma crawled out from under her warm covers and into the even warmer arms of her waiting mother.

"I love you so much," Sharpay kissed her daughter's head as she held onto her for dear life.

"I wub you too Mommy," Emma kissed Sharpay's shoulder as they continued to hug. "Hi Daddy!" Emma exclaimed as she caught sight of Troy in the doorway.

"Good morning peanut," Troy couldn't help but beam at the sight of mother and daughter, he, too, had been waiting for this moment for so long. "Can I get in on some of this action?"

"No Daddy that's my breakfast cake for me and Mommy too if she want it but not enough for you," Emma told him over Sharpay's shoulder.

"You can eat your cake, I just meant the hug," Troy grinned, although cake did sound kind of good.

"Yay! We can have a Daddy and Mommy and Emma huggy!" Emma clapped her hands.

"Sounds perfect," Sharpay replied as Troy walked over to the bed.

"I think so too," Troy smiled brightly at his wife and daughter as he sat down on the bed, behind Emma and opposite of Sharpay, before engulfing his family into his arms. "I love you both so much," Troy spoke as he looked Sharpay in the eye.

"Ditto," Sharpay whispered as she managed to get in a quick kiss before Emma pulled away from them both, anxious for her cake.

"Yum," Emma dug into the cake. "I weally wub cake for breakfast!"

"This is a one time thing sweetheart," Sharpay giggled as Emma quickly became a mess full of chocolate frosting. Emma smiled a she held out a piece for Sharpay to take which Sharpay immediately did. She was a cake lover too, that's where Emma got it from.

"I can't believe that you're up already," Troy remarked to Sharpay.

Sharpay shrugged, "I guess that I couldn't really sleep but oddly enough I'm not that tired."

"Imagine my surprise when I woke up and you weren't in my arms."

"Sorry baby," Sharpay replied. "I thought that some Mommy apology time was needed as well."

Troy nodded as he watched Emma get messier by the minute as she ate, "Good idea."

"I think we're good," Sharpay motioned to Emma and kissed her little head as the little girl continued to eat.

Troy laughed, "Yeah I guess so…wait one sec."

"What?" Sharpay questioned.

Troy leaned over and kissed Sharpay's lips ever so gently, "You had a little frosting right there."

"I bet," Sharpay rolled her eyes but smiled, "Although I could get used to that."

"You better."

Once Emma finally finished eating her cake, Troy carried their little girl downstairs while Sharpay went to the bathroom. She was going to meet them downstairs shortly; they were going to think of something fun to do today. Sara was up and in the kitchen making breakfast when they came in.

"Good Morning," Sara smiled cheerfully but then caught sight of her little granddaughter. "Oh Emma, you are such a mess!"

Emma giggled, "Gamma me had cake for breakfast!"

"You had cake for breakfast?" Sara questioned, clearly it was obvious since it was practically all over her. "Troy you gave her cake for breakfast?"

"No not Daddy, Mommy did!" Emma said as Troy plopped her down in her booster chair.

"Sharpay gave her cake for breakfast," Sara whispered to Troy.

"Yeah," Troy replied, grabbing a towel and running it under the sink so he could wipe down his little girl. "It was a little treat, don't worry."

Sara nodded, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah everything's great," Troy replied with a smile.

"Alright," Sara looked at Troy suspiciously, he was incredibly happy and she hadn't seen him like that in quite a while.

"Hey honey, I was thinking we could go to the zoo, they have that holiday lighting festival going on," Sharpay said as she walked into the kitchen.

"Yeah the zoo!" Emma squealed in her chair.

Sara looked up from chopping veggies into the omelets that she was making and almost dropped the large knife. She was more than surprised to see her daughter wearing clothes other than black and out of her bedroom but most of all she was surprised to see that her daughter looked happy as well.

"Hi Mom," Sharpay walked up to her.

"Hi," Sara gulped; she didn't quite know what else to say.

"I'm so sorry," Sharpay wrapped her arms around her mother for a nice and way over due hug.

"Sharpay," Sara closed her eyes, fighting back her tears.

"I'm so very sorry Mom," Sharpay couldn't stop her own tears; this was going to be a long day. "Maybe we can talk later," Sharpay said hopefully. "We've both been through so much and I can't think of anyone else besides you who would be able to help me."

"I would love too," Sara kissed her daughter's cheek, she was finally back. "After the zoo of course."

"Of course," Sharpay giggled as Troy looked on proudly at his wife and mother-in-law.

"Um good morning," Vance walked into the kitchen, fresh from a morning shower. He walked in on his wife and daughter's embrace; it was almost like he had walked into another home.

"Good morning Daddy," Sharpay pulled away from her mother and walked to her father, offering him the same hug.

"It really is a good morning," Vance suddenly felt a tear roll down his cheek. "Are you alright?"

Sharpay nodded as she pulled away; she looked at Troy as he tried to wipe Emma off. She was giving him an awful lot of trouble but Sharpay couldn't help but smile at her beautiful daughter and handsome husband. "I'm more than alright Daddy."

"Not that I'm not happy to see you but what's going on?" Vance asked cautiously.

"Troy and I…" Sharpay paused as Tom turned around at the sound of his name; he flashed her one of his award winning smiles for a bit of encouragement. "We had a long talk last night."

"I'm glad sweetheart," Vance hugged his little girl once again. "I'm so glad."

"Sweetie what do you want for breakfast? I'll make you whatever you want," Sara smiled at her husband and daughter.

"Mom, that's alright, I don't need anything special," Sharpay replied. "Especially after all that I've…"

Sara interrupted her, "Lets forgot about all of that."

"I agree," Troy added. "We're making a fresh start."

Sharpay nodded, "We most certainly are."

"How about chocolate chip pancakes? That was always your favorite when you were a little girl," Sara said excitedly, forgetting the omelets she was already working on.

"Choc-o-wate chippies in pancakes! Yummy!" Emma screamed.

"Well there you go," Sharpay laughed, "Chocolate chip pancakes would be great huh Emma bear?"

"Yeah Mommy," Emma laughed along with her mother.

Sharpay helped her Mother make breakfast, just like old times while Troy and Vance entertained Emma at the table, which was no easy task. It was a perfect morning, filled with joy and laughter. Once everything was finished, Sara and Sharpay placed a huge and hearty breakfast on the table before taking their seats. Just as they were about to dig in, Sharpay decided that she had something important to say.

"Can…can I say something?" Sharpay questioned, she had been cutting Emma's pancakes into tiny pieces when she felt the urge to speak to her family. "Something that I should have said last night."

"Of course you can sweetheart," Sara encouraged her with a smile.

Sharpay took a deep breath before continuing. "I just wanted to say that I'm so thankful to have every single one of you in my life, you're the most amazing family. And I'm especially thankful to have a husband as wonderful and understanding as you are Troy."


	9. Epilogue

**Here it is: the epilogue! Thanks to my faithful and loyal readers and reviewers! I know how depressing this fic was but you guys stood by it. Thanks a lot and I hope you enjoy the epilogue! **

* * *

_**Epilogue**_

"What are you doing?" Troy immediately questioned as he walked through the back door and into the kitchen.

Sharpay turned around from her task at hand, "What does it look like I'm doing? Honestly honey, are you really that dense? I know that you got hurt a lot during the basketball season…maybe those injuries have had some lasting effects."

"Funny," Troy replied as he placed three large pizza boxes and a container of salad down on the shiny marble counter top. "Why are you doing the dishes?"

"Because they're dirty, you wash dishes when they're dirty honey," Sharpay grinned at her husband. "Dishes don't was themselves Troy. You of all people should know that, I know that you had plenty of chores growing up."

"I know why dishes are washed, I want to know why you're doing the dishes Sharpay," Troy stared at her. "Rosario is here to do that, not you," Tom reminded her of their housekeeper who had been with them for the past few years.

"She has the day off," Sharpay shrugged as she continued to put silverware into the dishwasher. "Besides I'm just putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, its not like I'm scrubbing away."

"I thought you were going to take it easy," Troy responded to her as he began grabbing plates and cups for dinner.

"Oh that's what this is about?" Sharpay questioned. "I should have known, you always get like this."

"Like what?" Troy turned around after setting a couple of plates on the counter.

"You have totally started your worried and overprotective phase already and its definitely starting earlier than usual."

"I have not," Troy defended himself. "I just don't understand why you're doing all of this cleaning when we pay someone very good money to do it. We might as well fire Rosario if she's not going to do her job."

"Stop being so dramatic," Sharpay rolled her eyes at him before opening a box of pizza. "Oh yum." Sharpay's mouth watered upon seeing her dinner.

"Ugh eww, close that," Troy felt his stomach turn at the sight and the horrific smell of the pizza. "You know what…well I may worry about you sometimes but that's not worse than what you do…you…ugggh."

"I what?" Sharpay looked to her husband's flustered face.

"You eat gross things," Troy said the first thing he could think of and Sharpay burst out laughing. Troy joined after thinking of how stupid he actually sounded.

"That's the best you could come up with?" Sharpay held her belly, still laughing at her husband.

"You didn't give me a lot of time to think Pay," Troy chuckled. "But its true, that looks absolutely disgusting. I didn't know that you could even order pickles on pizza."

"I can't help it, I've been craving this all day," Sharpay patted her newly rounded abdomen, she was about six months along. And as disgusting as her pizza looked and smelled, she couldn't wait to eat the anchovies, pickle, and pineapple concoction. She even planned on it dipping it in ranch dressing too…yum.

"With as many pickles as you eat, I'm surprised that this kid doesn't come out green," Troy smiled as he placed his hands on her belly, hoping to feel a kick. He was in luck and grinned as he felt a little bit of fluttering.

"Our little ballerina has been at it all day," Sharpay looked down at her stomach as Troy rubbed it gently.

"You love it and you know it," Troy pulled her closer and laid a gentle kiss on cheek. "Remember when Emma didn't kick for two days, you nearly died."

"I know, I know," Sharpay beamed, she loved the feeling of a brand new life making his or her presence known with a little bit of force. "But I would like to get some sleep tonight, she had me up half the night."

"If I recall, I seemed to take your mind off of that," Troy wiggled his eyebrows. "I have no problem taking care of it tonight."

"Don't you wish," Sharpay pushed him away. "Lets eat, I'm starving."

"Shouldn't we wait for Chad and Taylor?" Troy asked her.

"Well I need to have a little piece baby, I'm so hungry," Sharpay said as she reached for a piece of her 'scrumptious' pizza. "Do you know that its been like an hour since my last snack?"

."Where are the ki…" Troy stopped mid sentence as they heard a loud crash.

Sharpay sighed and rolled her eyes, "Does that answer your question?" She dropped the slice of pizza on a napkin; they had to find out what was going on.

"Guess so," Troy laughed as he took her hand in his so they could see what all of the commotion was about.

"I hope its not that new vase I just bought last week," Sharpay closed her eyes, afraid of what she would see.

"Nope not the vase," Troy and Sharpay entered the family room and saw a glass shattered on the ground.

"I told Emma that she couldn't have a glass of water out here," Sharpay placed her hands on her hips in frustration before bending down.

"Don't even think about it, I'll clean it up after dinner," Troy told her.

"Well where are the little culprits?" Sharpay looked around. "I don't want anyone getting hurt from this big glass mess."

"I hear voices," Tom replied as they moved around the glass mess and down the hall. Troy stopped them at the doorway of the office and motioned to Sharpay to be quiet. Troy had wanted to hear what was going on.

"Shh," Emma said.

"Wha?"

"Cooper, Shh!" Emma put her index finger over her mouth to prove her point to her baby brother. "Mommy's going to get mad at me, lets go and hide."

"Why?" Cooper questioned.

"I'm not 'posed to have big glasses outside of the kitchen and I dropped it on the floor," Emma explained. "Come on."

"Otay," it didn't take a lot of convincing for Cooper to follow Emma, he worshiped her.

Emma was going to go into the closet where Sharpay kept lots of art supplies when she noticed that Cooper was not following her. "Cooper, come on," she hissed at her younger brother.

"Wook me!" Cooper pointed to a picture on one of the many shelves. "Me Baby!"

"Fine Cooper…Wait that's not you," Emma said as she got a good look at the picture.

"Wes me! Enna," Cooper couldn't quite say Emma yet.

"That's Justin," Emma pointed.

"Who dat?" Cooper asked, his big green eyes sparkling in anticipation of an answer. There certainly wasn't any Justin around here that he knew; there was Daddy, Mommy, 'Enna,' Nana, Poppa, Gamma, Gampa, Unckie Wyan, Auntie Taywor, Unckie Chad, and little Chad.

"Justin's our big brother but you didn't know him," Emma explained to a very bewildered Cooper.

"Where he go?" Cooper questioned, if big brothers were anything like big sisters than he should have been around just like his sister.

"He died," Emma frowned for a moment, even though she had only been two and a half when he died she still remembered him. "He's a good big brother, I miss him sometimes. Mommy and Daddy miss him lots too. But I still see him. You know why? Because he's in the sky like a star," Emma smiled. "Me and Nana talked about this. Justin's a star so he can watch over us every night."

"You alright?" Troy looked down at his wife when he felt her tears begin to soak through his blue polo shirt.

"Yeah," Sharpay sniffled as she looked up at him, smiling through her tears.

Troy kissed her gently and wiped her face, "That was…"

"Amazing," Sharpay finished his sentence. "Emma's amazing."

Sharpay smiled on as Emma went on to tell Cooper more about Justin. She had no idea that Emma thought of Justin like a star but she was happy that she did. Sharpay was afraid that Emma would maybe forget Justin but clearly that was far from the case. It had taken them a while to get where they were now but surprisingly the years had passed quickly. Emma was a couple months shy of turning five and Cooper was almost eighteen months old. Their new little girl was due in four months as well, she was a bit of surprise for Troy and Sharpay. They hadn't expected to get pregnant so soon after Cooper. Heck they were surprised when Sharpay got pregnant with Cooper, but it was a welcome surprise and blessing for their family. It showed them that happiness and miracles did happen to their family. Cooper was such a ray of sunshine for all of them, the most lovable baby in the whole wide world. He reminded them all so much of Justin. They had the same temperaments and they looked so much alike, no wonder Cooper thought he was seeing a picture of himself.

After that fateful Thanksgiving Day, Sharpay's life changed for the better. She made many apologies to her family and friends. Besides Emma and Troy, she felt the guiltiest about the way she had treated Taylor so she took her on a huge baby shopping spree. She even got to be in the room when Taylor gave birth to her son, Sharpay's godson, Charles (Chad) Michael Danforth, jr. Taylor was pregnant again too which was very exciting, they had always talked about having babies at the same time. Taylor and Chad's second son was due a month before Troy and Sharpay's second daughter. Sharpay had continued her therapy but even without it, she had come to accept the fact her son had died. Just because Justin was gone didn't mean that she had to stop living her own life. She had responsibilities and people that counted on her, she had let them all down. With Troy's enormous help, Sharpay picked up the pieces of her life. She still had some band-aid days as Emma called them. Days where something reminded of her Justin so she might spend the whole morning crying or in bed but they all dealt with them together. Even with Cooper in her life, she still had them. Especially in the beginning, she almost felt like she was betraying Justin by having a new baby in her life.

Losing Justin was the worse thing that had ever happened to Sharpay but she had survived. Sharpay still had days that she would get upset with herself when she didn't think of him everyday. She could remember vividly the first day that she didn't think about him right when she woke up. It was the day after she and Troy had fount out they were having a baby boy, Cooper. In the morning she had been so excited about the new baby that she forgot about her first baby. Now, Sharpay understood that it was ok to move on, she had been stuck in limbo for so long. But that's not how Justin would have wanted his mommy to live her life. Even at five years old, he would have been extremely sad to see Sharpay held up in bed for days at a time. And that's not how Sharpay wanted to live her own life either. So here she was, standing upright once again and she was happy, truly happy.

"Uh oh," Emma looked up to see her parents huddled together in the doorway. "Busted," she muttered under her breath.

"Hey guys," Troy walked into the room with Sharpay following closely behind him.

"Daddy!" Cooper screamed and ran right into Try's legs.

"Hey big guy," Troy bent down and picked up his son, he hadn't seen him for a couple of hour so it was most definitely time for a slippery wet Cooper kiss.

"Muah!" Of course Cooper agreed and planted a nice slippery wet kiss on Troy followed by a nice bear hug.

"Mommy are you mad at me?" Emma looked down at her pink and white polka dotted converse shoes, avoiding what was sure to be an angry glance from her very angry mommy.

"No sweetie, I'm not mad at you," Sharpay placed a hand under Emma's chin and lifted her daughter's sweet face up.

"You're not?" Emma immediately brightened, hoping that she would be free from punishment.

"No sweetheart, I'm not mad at you at all," Sharpay replied.

"Are you crying? What's wrong?" Nothing got past Emma.

"I was crying a little bit," Sharpay told her, no sense in lying to the little girl. "We heard what you said to Cooper about Justin."

"Oh," Emma bit her lip, she was such a miniature version of her mother.

"That was a wonderful thing that you did princess," Troy smiled at his daughter while his son played with his hair. Cooper was still too young to really get a grasp on the situation at hand.

"Emma that really was such a sweet thing to do, telling Cooper all about Justin. Thank you sweetheart," Sharpay bent down and gave Emma a hug and kiss.

"You're welcome," Emma grinned as Troy did the same after he put Cooper down.

"We love you so much sweetheart," Sharpay pulled Emma closer and in turn Emma wrapped her arms around Sharpay's widely expanding stomach. Emma's little arms didn't quite reach all the way around anymore thanks to her newly growing baby sister.

"I love you too Mommy, you too Daddy," Emma smiled as she leaned into Sharpay even more or tried too.

"Me too! Me too!" Cooper exclaimed, not wanting to be left out.

"Alright my little dude," Troy laughed and grabbed his son once more. Cooper kissed Sharpay from his position in Troy's arms and patted Emma on the head.

"Cooper," Emma scrunched up her nose. "You're messing up my hair."

"He's alright sweetie, he just loves you too," Troy explained, Cooper always got a little over zealous in his pursuits and Emma didn't always enjoy what he did.

"Pisa now?" Cooper looked at Troy, his little brown eyes pleading with him. "Hungy now. Eat pwease Daddy."

"He's always hungry," Emma laughed.

"Just like," Sharpay began.

"Daddy," Emma finished for her as the two women of the family laughed.

"Very funny," Troy replied. "We're both growing boys! What do you expect?"

"Babe, you're thirty four, that is hardly boyish," Sharpay reminded him.

Troy threw a laughing Cooper over his shoulder and headed towards the kitchen. "Women," he muttered under his breath. He was hungry too and Chad and Taylor were always late. Their friends would just have to eat later, his growing boy and pregnant wife needed to be fed a little something.

"Daddy's so weird sometimes," Emma remarked as she and Sharpay slowly followed their boys to the kitchen, hand in hand.

"Tell me about it," Sharpay chuckled thinking about all the years that she had known her husband and the many strange things he had done.

"Mommy?" Emma brought Sharpay out of her thoughts.

"Yeah baby."

"I think Justin would really like Cooper."

"I think so too," Sharpay smiled at the thought of her children, Justin would have loved having a little brother to play basketball with.

"I wish that he could still be here with us," Emma replied sincerely.

"So do I," Sharpay felt herself welling up again. "But like you said Emma, he does get to see us. He watches us everyday."


End file.
